Friday, February 11, 2005
To someone special
Well..after reading ur blog..i feel..sorry..i' m sorry for making u worry n feel guilty...dun be..i wan ppl ard me to be happy..reali i rather they
smile from the heart than worry or b sad..i really wish all of u well..and i really mean
everyone ard me..
u r not the one to be blamed..well..he asked..yes..but i had every right to say no..so u cant b blamed k..I was the one who agreed..e one who said ok..if anyone is to b blamed for tis..is me..
so pls..dun blame urself..
I'll be fine..really..i just mayb like wat u guys always say..i lack self confidence..well..tat is someting i need to find out how to give myself the self confidence tt i need..
u guys have been great..really....i tink frenz r like angels...who look over u and give u the support tat u need...well..here r my angels... =) Mich: u were there for me..when i needed advice and everyting..u made time to be with me..u gave me happiness and i realli treasure tat..e k box session we had after we left cptc..when i needed to tok..n when i needed to cry...u were the one with the ideas..the plans..the go getter..
however..i'll nv forget the look of happiness u n jemie had on the day e 4 of us went to PS,lucky plaza n taka..
Sylvia: ur ears still pain over all my repeating of stuff? hahaz..u have always given me a piece of ur mind..whenever u feel tat is the best ting...but u patiently listened to wat i had to get off my chest..u nv fail to zi xiao me..lolz..3 years..i wonder if i had brought u any laughter n happiness..mayb i brought u more sadness..with all my grumbles...hahaz..but u my greatgrandaunt..hahaz..so..u have to listen to me le...hahaz.. =)
Chuikeat: wat to say abt tis mentor lehz...she gives u the feeling like u can tell her everyting n she will have a solution ready for u...the one whom u noe u can simply go to in times of need..the one who will not reject u...
Xinying: even though onli became close to her in CPTC...we got "married" in CPTC at the fountain there..hahaz..she has been a great listener...she may not b one tat makes her presence felt all the time thru noise but..u simply noe she will b there when u need her...
Jemie: my crapmate n listening ear..e one who always approaches me with a hi in msn..even though i noe sometimes is cos u r just bored...hahaz.. =p thanks for "listening" to me even though u had problems of ur own..u gave me advice and told me stuff..u made time for me..hahaz..since u have been such an angel..pls..look over him as well..ensure tat he is well n healthy..ensure tat he is happy..u noe him...da nan ren..try to act strong..hahaz.. he is not as strong as he seems.. he does not noe how to express himself much..and he cares alot abt face.. hahaz... so..be an angel n guard him k? thanks... =)
Judy: charbo..i noe u will faint when reading my blog la..but..well..frenz for 7 long years..u were e 1st person to noe of my union n my seperation...hahaz..thanks for being there..well..i wish u all the best for yours...i tink he like not bad...hahaz..take time n slowly get to noe the guy..i really hope tat e best will b for u..hehez...
Wilmer: u offered me the point of view from a guy..from tat time u knew to now..well..hahaz..u noe le la horz...cannot praise u too much de..later u will float...then must call u back to earth...so ma fan...i dun wan..hahaz.. =P
noting can express my gratitude towards u guys...really thank the ones above for letting me have u guys with me thru tis period...i may not wish to tok abt it now..but i noe tt i will open up one day...and mayb tat is the day i can reali face everyting...in the meantime...just be with me..i just need ppl ard me..i dun wana b alone..
part of me wishes to give it all up..but part of me lacks the courage n guts..part of me wishes to still try n try..mayb..there mayb a glimmer of hope among all the darkness... hahaz..i'm tinking of the impossible again...hahaz..
i dun wish to cry in school or in the public...i have shed too many tears le..i try to control my tears....hahaz..i discover sth..when u cry while batheing....its like u duno tat is tears or water...darn....i'm now so freaking weak...haiz...
you: well...i dunno wat to tell u...haiz..i have so much tat i wana let u noe..but..i dunno where to start..well..If u cant forget her in the first place...why ask me? just bcoz i like u.. u r not obliged to be with me...if there r no feelings...why choose to hurt me tis way?it onli leaves me with more hurt..if u r not gonna b there to catch me when i fall...y in the first place make me fall even harder? I reali dunno how to get u out of my mind or heart...after we left cptc..i tot its not possible anymore...why reignite the passion...and then put out everyting..sometimes..i rather there was noting btw us...but then sometimes..i m thankful tt we at least had some happy times together
...如果你要的不是我，为何来惹我？也许我们都有错，也许这是我前世欠你的，如果真的是这样，我希望我们不要再种孽缘了。我们还是朋友吧。我不会忘记你的。你还在我的脑海和心里，我会试着慢慢放弃你，只因为我还爱你。也许一年也许两年，放心吧，我会坚强的。如果不能持久，为何跟我谈未来？为何要给我希望然后又亲手毁了它？我真的不想要这样的， 但是实事却摆在眼前。你不再是我的了。如果我没有对你说那些话，我们是不是还会在一起呢？Did u ever have any feelings for me?i really wana noe...haiz...i guess not ba...hahaz...i was the dumb one..haiz...the ger..i tink i noe is who..if i nv guess wrongly..is from ur sch de rite? haiz...dunno le.. i onli hope tat u will b happy, healthy and safe.. tat is all i ask for...keep me updated of ur life.. rmb me as a fren.. after all..u r my first..n i'm urs? hahaz...
blogged at 11:14 AM
