Monday, January 31, 2005
stretched....
Yest after the ntu tok mich n sylvia saw ear rings and went gaga over them..in the end sylvia n mich picked one for me..hahaz..then the cute beng who was selling it was like asking..hey..where did u just go...wat sch u in..wat u studying..lolz..the ting is ...HE ASKED ME...omg..nv crossed my mind tat he will tok to me instead of mich or sylvia..hahaz..then i ask him if the ear rings they pick look nice...then he say if my hair longer will look beta...i told him i just cut my hair nia...then he say aiyo..then ni bu shi hen tui...hahaz.. funny guy... then went over to pacific at citilink to study....then later judy came over to join us..then later ken came.. went to esplanade n then eat at the halal cafe.. then later hang ard then he went to c doc..yucks...i nv liked clinics n docs...i actually pei someone go c doc...yucks...then he sent me home...
today..is mum's surgery..i went onli for the process test today n in the mrg went to the stupid polyclinic..stay there for 3 hours...haiz..then the doc gave me med for 1 week..say if dun get beta have to go for x-ray...haiz...after the test i went down straight to KK..then saw mum so weak...felt so useless..then i felt tat fear again...the hospital fear...heng today is also aunt de check up day..she called me when i was waiting for the bus to KK..so i was not alone all the time while waiting for mum to b discharged..then later me n mum took cab n came home le...then i slacked at home...hahaz..haiz..really cant give myself a day break...now i tmr also dun feel like going sch le..hahaz..jialat....
i'm actually v lost now...why r tings moving so fast...i dun feel good...mayb i shld b looking at tings in a different way?hahaz..dunno lahz..mayb i'm too slow for watever is happening...dunno...i'm lost n confused...ppl r telling me to let go...shld i?
blogged at 9:44 PM
Sunday, January 30, 2005
ntu tok
have decided to go for the ntu tok with mich n sylvia..well..shld i or shld i not?haiz... yest pama was saying now mostly is have to get bank loan le..so not much diff..well..running late le..clarence n kangwei also going...hahaz..hope to c them there... long time no contact them le.. =) edit tis post later..hahaz..
blogged at 9:57 AM
Saturday, January 29, 2005
just an update...hahaz..
hmmm..couple of days nv blog le..hahaz... shall keep it brief..i will try..lolz..
27/1/05 Thursday
Went to the temple at sommerset with mum..(mum's now on leave cos she going for an op) then went to PS to meet ken.. watched brother.. discover tat someone din noe carrefour got 2 levels..din noe where delifrance was..or did he did it on purpose?hahaz..and he dunno how to stand on escalator..then me, mich, ken, jemie proceeded to cine to get mich bag from her fren.. then later went over the lucky plaza while the boys played pool, we chatted..hahaz..jemie was like high on drugs..lolz...saw tarmizi at wisma..he cut his hair le..hmm..i tink he looked beta last time..
had blisters due to the new heels..lolz..pain sia.. they went off to meet their frenz while me n mich went back home..when i reached home..tot can rest le..in the end...pei mum go pris place..hahaz..
28/1/05 Friday
blister pain..lolz.. was late for class..haiz..then later we were all tokking abt yest lorz.... well.. liddat la..lolz..told owyong abt ken..yupz..he was stunned n all..but..oh well...pharma test got postfoned to friday.. but monday process test still on la..after the process test will b going down to KK hospital to meet mum after her op.. yupz..not going for chris class le..well..monday got tell chris..hahaz..chris is a nice guy, he will noe de.. =) saw how my class ciong for the process test la..kinda scared..tokked to boy boy over the fone..in the end kena scolding from mum n dad..watever la..sianz..then i went straight to sleep instead of studying..sometimes i wonder if i can really manage all the elements in my life..well..take tings one step at a time lorz..adam came tokking to me on msn yest..hahaz..promised to ask him out along the next time..lolz..
29/1/05 saturday
today...sianz..mum made us clean the house..well..sianz...the dust made my cough worse..boyboy just called during his break time..haiz..tmr going for the NTU tok i guess..just go there look see look see..must admit i'm tempted to further my studies..but...money is a big factor la...and also..whether i can study anot..i dun like to study de lorz..i feel like i'm not like the past le..haiz..not like when i was still tis boyboy with the determination of steel...the stubbornness streak may still b in me la..but..tink i have weaken and soften alot over time..haiz..degree..is it reali impt???
Mum was telling me not to play if i'm not serious..dun hurt ppl..which set me tinking..m i ready? hahaz..abit too late to tink abt tis horz? lolz.. just read tis article abt stress of a mother.. its says tat as her children get older n r like not as home often, she will start to feel like as if she is not as needed as before, shewill have to find their self worth if not will feel like a victim..tis is called the
empty nest syndrome... haiz...mayb i really have neglected mum le... in the past, i will b like smsing her even in class..updating her of everyting tat happened..then later when she went to work, i went to work, michelle became closer to her..i felt the bridge between me n her lengthen..however at the same time, i feel happy tat michelle is now closer to mum n more maturer..
but seriously...i feel stretched..mayb its cos its the last year n everyting...feel like i've got so many commitments...family, frenz,sch, yishun,him...i'm still trying my best to get use to everyting..but i guess i need time ba..haiz..i also dunno how le..watever la..i have lived the past 19 yrs taking tings as they come n i will now.. =)
mich was telling me the other day to let my mum noe as if any hiccups were to occur, she will b a v good support..well..i have to agree la..but i feel tt she's even more stressed up than me..well..i dunno la..mayb tis is life...hahaz..
saw mum's cousin (one of my distant uncles, who's just back from italy, he's a cook) he was telling me some stuff la..abt enjoying watever is in front of u..he used the recent tsunami as an example...well..its quite true la..so...ppl..
CAN HAPPY JIU HAPPY BA.. lolz..have to go back to doing my stuff le.. cleaning the hse..hahaz..my life..serious sucks... who understands? lolz..not even myself understand...
blogged at 2:12 PM
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
petrochem test
today the petrochem test sucks..well, i guessed i'm to blame...din reali study hard..haiz..got to reali study hard le...process test and pharma test is next week...haiz..well...............................lolz........ study hard lorz...Must work hard...
i saw patrick today..hahaz..always will bump into him when i'm in amk central...he's gonna go on attachment soon..
went to causeway point with michelle and did abit of shopping today..lolz..completely broke..... hahaz...saw the sweets tat r like zha ba lang de..the one go by weight de..got tat date n walnut tingy de sweet... :drools:
MICHELLE NG: U TRY UR FREN MUM DE PINEAPPLE TART NV BRING FOR ME.....how could u.............onli come home n tell me its nice.... haiz...
kk..got to go sleep le..still not feeling too well..hahaz..will b beta de... =)
blogged at 11:25 PM
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
insecured....
Well, am supposed to study la..but..watever..today reach home, almost immediately, i fell asleep..resulting in me not being able to sleep now..yet..have got no mood to study..am planning to like not slp n study later i guess..cant sleep also..kaoz...sianz..
I dunno wat's wrong with me..i just feel so sianz....was doing some reading of blogs n i discovered tt i m just so oblivious to watever is happening ard me, i have hurt ppl yet dun even noe abt it..haiz...m i doing the wrong ting? I dunno..
Still tinking over wat was said to me today..well..mayb she might b right..hahaz..mayb i should not drown myself too much..at least if its a wrong move, it will not b as painful rite?mayb i'm not even ready for all tis stuff..i dun even understand myself at times...I tot i should b happier..but apparently tat's not the case..instead i'm scared...
jemie: good luck for the interview tmr...u can make it de.. Jia you.. =)
blogged at 10:52 PM
sick
teary is sick again..wth..again..when she has not done much studying..after some advice, i finally decide to tell mum some stuff yest..she does not seem too happy abt it..i dunno wat she's really trying to send me..i cant decipher her signals..haiz..for once i actually felt tat there's actually tis boundary btw me n my mum..y cant i understand her now?haiz..mayb she does not mean it, mayb i ponder too much into her words..we tok till quite late yest..then i cant slp well..onli slept at abt 4am..then wake up feeling sick..haiz..
just got to know tt she's not the onli one..while there r ppl who r happy,(or seem to b happy) there r also ppl who dun seem to b happy..haiz..i cant please everyone rite? wat shld i do..i 'm not even sure of wat to do now..lolz..i'm lost..got no confidence..one step at a time ba..dunno wat to do le..
tmr's petrochem test..haiz..hafnt studied yet..shld i go c a doc later?haiz..i hate to go to a doc..yucks..later got sunil's pharma tutorial..his exam is next week..process optimization is also next week..haiz..how can i absent myself from sch today..haiz..got to hold on..mayb later sleep in safety lecture ba..i tink mayb i just need rest and peace..
* missing someone..how will thurs turn out?hahaz.. teary is praying silently *
blogged at 1:49 PM
Monday, January 24, 2005
tired...
Today sylvia's not in school..she's sick...haiz..ger u beta get well k..i miss ur crap..hahaz..abit sianz la..no one to disturb..i still hafnt really started on petrochem yet..haiz..wed's the test..hp batt is flat again..kns..stupid fone..always go flat on me..lao ya samsung...haiz..
just now after sch went to meet alice..well, she's slacking now..hahaz..miss the days at techpoint..
in the end i nv go buy the S&K belt...hmmmm....i wan e belt le...haiz..also wana buy a new pair of slippers...lolz... alot of tings to buy...no money..lolz..
i'm so tired...go sch..i also dun understand..haiz..i need motivation to study..haiz..must lock myself in the room le..lolz.. okie..me going to bathe le..then go study....eyes darn dry.. darn contacts... AFTER BATHE MUST GO STUDY...hahaz..anyway my hp also bo batt le..lolz...FOCUS GIRL...FOCUS.... =)
blogged at 9:25 PM
Sunday, January 23, 2005
haiz..lazy teary
haiz...din manage to study today..lolz..jialat...
I wan the S&K belt..hahaz...tmr b4 go yishun must go bishan de S&K..cos i noe amk dun ahve le..so must go J8 n see if got...hahaz..
hahaz...me keep n watching tv n play com..jialat...must study le...haiz..tmr sunday..then monday got apic lab..means i got class from 8-6..whole day..then tue is the petrochem test le...i dun wan to make wat KK say true...haiz.. teary must jiayou!!!
blogged at 1:53 AM
Friday, January 21, 2005
tired..din noe i was..hahaz..
Today woke up slacked and went to meet owyong for his clothes buying session as arranged a week ago..haiz..tot i could spend the holiday slacking at home..hahaz..then i was supposed to bring my bro n sis along..since he's buying clothes..might as well..in the end cos my bro had needed to go meet a fren..so onli me n my sis went to meet owyong as bugis..and boy..tot i v late le..he even more late..haiz...everytime i meet my sec sch ppl.. i will normally b earlier than them..but meeting my poly mates and others, i will b late..lolz.. then we shopped ard..haiz..cos my sis was around, he like weird weird la..then when she went off to kino to look at comics, he become abit beta...lolz..before we went into the shop, cos he was looking at his, i was looking at mine, then there was tis group of guys who were like kinda looking in my direction and this guy in the group who was like super funny..cracked alot of jokes..even played with the kid who was waiting for his mum in the fitting room..the kid also super funny..went to hit his butt..then the guy passed him his jeans and the kid throw it back at him..hahaz..then it landed at my feet..then..heez..secret..lolz..later when owyong walked over..i guess they misunderstood sth..as onli me n him mahz..haiz..wat a waste..the guy looked pretty cute.. =(
i bought 2 tops at S&K..which now has an outlet at bugis..hahaz..just outside seiyu..my sis bought a bottom and a chain..lolz..60 bucks burned..lolz..
bugis the movable carts area there has a couple of stalls decked in red n pink la...cos its V-Day nearing..haiz...well..seems like love is in the air..well..but not for me..hahz..u noe bugis...alot of couples like to hold hands n parade there..hahaz..lolz..nvm..i have got
judy, mich n xinying rite? =)
then later took train back to amk and meet my bro to help him buy clothes...saw patrick who's working at S&K and then decided to buy themthere..and boy am i proud of myself..hahaz...i actually was able to get clothes tat looked good on my bro...hahaz..mini makeover la.. =) shopped ard till abt near 9...my sis went to get some plastic cover and housing for her hp..then the fone shop was next to this vcd shop tat was screening the kungfu hustle and there's tis
beng who started conversation with me..lame..guys nowadays..haiz..or
m i too conservative?haiz..
then we got ourselves icecream and started to walk back home..on the way..i was screaming i needed the toilet and i started to sing loudly...hahaz..then my sis and bro once they hear me sing started to run..hahaz..then we started our catching game..again..rmb there was tis once when e 3 of us also did tis..hahaz..we chased each other like kids..well.. it did reali speed up our process of walking home though..hahaz..felt like a kid..suddenly its like tis is the real me..lolz..why do i have to act like i'm shy n quiet?hahaz..haiz..guess its cos i'm too concerned abt how ppl tink abt me and the impression they have of me?
was actually gonna get a cake as 22 jan is my mum's bday n 23 jan is my bro's bday..then mum said not to get one as, she cooked alot and the present my bro got from his fren was a cake..lolz..and its made by the giver
herself..lolz..even my bro also got such good de lobang..lolz..wat a shame on me..kaoz.. =(
spend abt near 200 on clothes for the 3 of us today..wahz..siong...well..its courtesy of mummy's atm card..i want to buy sth else also...girls onli..hahaz...anyone interested? i saw in seiyu, now got plastic underwire de.. not metal de worz.. :eyes bleaming: hahaz.. i also wana get some tubes..hahaz..going crazy again..lolz..but have to come out of my own pocket le..haiz..i'm broke..
just now saw the chen han wei show..was having my dinner la..so watch abit here n there... michelle chong was helping ou xuan telling allen wu tat she likes him..then he told her he onli like tis other ger..so ou xuan sad la...then michelle chong said tis: at least u now noe wat he feels..hmmm....tis how is so funny..chen han wei looks 100% gay siaz...lolz..
they say u have to fight for wat u wan..then again..they say if it is not yours, no matter wat u do also will not b urs...haiz..sianz...ppl ard me r like so sick of my complains...i'm also sick of myself..ppl ard me tell me to give up..cos they tink its not worth it..haiz..then some tell me to press on..haiz..its all so contradicting..well..life is contradicting itself isn't it?
if u love someting,let it go..if it comes back then it is urs..
saw the tsunami victims and then i tink again..hey, at least i'm not at worst as them..cos..I at least still have my loved ones ard me..hahaz..so wat's e big prob here?
am supposed to study la..but i'm here again..on the com..dunno doing wat siaz..haiz..
anyone has the teens magazine with lindsay lohan on the cover? i wana borrow.
Someting i found in my inbox..just to share..
Recent research in medicine, in experimental psychology and what is still called parapsychology has thrown some light on the nature of mind and its position in the world. During the last forty years the conviction has steadily grown among medical men that very many causes of diseases organic as well as functional, are directly caused by mental states. The body becomes ill because the mind controlling it either secretly wants to make it ill, or else because it is in such a state of agitation that it cannot prevent the body from sickening. Whatever its physical nature, resistance to disease is unquestionably correlated with the physiological condition of the patient.Mind not only makes sick, it also cures. An optimistic patient has more chance of getting well than a patient who is worried and unhappy. The recorded instances of faith healing includes cases in which even organic diseases were cured almost instantaneously.
Interesting huh? mayb i'm the one who is making myself sick..lolz..well..Chinese New Year is coming and i feel no happiness..V-Day is coming and i feel worse..hahaz..well.. haven't done any studying yet.. :omg: i guess if i were to spend more effort in studying instead of i duno do wat...hahaz..guess i'll be beta..hahaz...
gimme the determination and willpower and dun let me be lazy.. hahaz..
blogged at 11:12 PM
NeW LoOk!!!
Finally managed to changed the blogskin le...heez...how does it look?beta than the old one rite?lolz...
wahz....so late le...hahaz..its like 230am le..hahaz..just now went to meet judy at hougang point..hahaz...i was wearing slippers, nyp shirt n a shorts...guess we sat at where? the coffee bean tat we used to study when we were still back in xinmin..suddenly i feel like time has passed so fast...we chatted abt out usual topics, abt home, guys and who we saw..hahaz..told her abt my plans abt sth n she went like..tot u wanted to do so long ago?haiz...but saying is always easier than doing lorz...it floods my mind...how to not tink..how to not be sad..haiz..
then later her sis came to join us...and also tok to us abt guys...hahaz...we were saying guys mature slower, thus shld gers actually act more like a kid?cos she have a fren who is doing tis now...hahaz...lolz..she also reminded me n judy are stepping into 20 soon...should go get a partner soon..lolz..then judy was disturbing me abt me being too sensitive to touch tat y cant get guy...hahaz...this also reminds me of the conversation i had with xinying the other day..the ting abt being an old hag... :omg: wonder if i will become liddat..haiz.. then later when me n mum were tokking abt someting related to tis, her reaction is tat she onli worry abt my bro not being able to get married..she does not worry abt me...haiz..funny huh? haiz..tat's my mum...lolz...
well..gonna go slp soon..then since i gonna pei owyong get clothes, will b bringing my brother along too..hahaz..tat boy also need clothes..but recently i discover he's acting like a jerk...when he speaks, it is always in a loud n like wana fight tone...duno which asshole taught him to behave like tis...kaoz...
feeling tired le...hope i dun dream tonight...but mayb onli in dreams will i get wat i wan....hahaz... life is so contradicting....
blogged at 2:04 AM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
weird dream
hello peepz.. its another day again..haiz..had this weird dream yest..well..guess i'm thinking too much le..cos i seldom dream de..when i dream..its noting good..lolz..
now in ah pek class..hahaz..was asking some stupid question just now..hahaz..tt totally revealed tat i'm not listening to his class..lolz..
later got open house..hahaz...dunno will b doing wat siaz..
stupid blogger...dun let me access to my template..haiz..i wana change the template le...got tis nicer de...hahaz...a new blogskin, a new year, a new life..lolz...
* princess is silently praying..praying for a beta life.. *
blogged at 10:03 AM
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
sick n sianz..
i'm quite irritated over some things...shant mention...make me sick..
got so sick n pissed tat i started the eating n shopping spree..lolz..no money still buy..kaoz..my brain cant tink well..i'm STUPID N DUMB....
anyway today, me cuijie n xinying went to meet yongjun..hmmm..he looks beta now without glasses..lolz..but he seem to have put on some weight..and he dun seem so tall le..hahaz..
not meeting my ex-collegues tmr le..tired..really...no mood..n i'm broke..hahaz..
tmr got 9-11am got the process tut make up...then 2-5pm is open house duty...dun even noe do wat..lolz..then after tat pei xy eat mac..lolz..then will go home n sleep..mayb fold my star also..hahaz..i plan to make one big big box..lolz..then give it to someone who's worthy of it..
well, got to reali focus n start studying...FOCUS!!!!!!!
* someday my prince will come ...will he? *
blogged at 9:46 PM
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
the value of me me me!!!!
I am worth $1,171,318.00 on HumanForSale.com
lolz...so little nia...to i will b worth more..hahaz..ppl go try and let me noe ba...hahaz...see if i m the cheapest ard..hahaz...
yest do lab report till like 4 am..safety lab is at 8 am...kaoz..wear the SCBA..lolz..well, she went like, u wear b4 le rite?then i was like haiz...me again...always niao me in her class...haiz..just bcoz of my final year project..but sometimes it does give me a edge la..she will not hiew me so much..hahaz..
wed meeting yongjun.. pass him the disc n get back my disc..lolz..also have to make time to go meet owyong cos he's buying clothes..thurs meet j8 with huihui n vin..haiz...so many tings to do so little time...
argh...tests r coming up...and mayb i'm not cut out for tis line..mayb my potential lies elsewhere... during quek lect...cant understand..process dun understand..everyting also dun understand or i understand wrongly..haiz..even KK is disturbing me abt retaining another half a year.. :omg: haiz...gtg for class le..will update tis post later... =)
now having matlab..so can update blog abit..hahaz..
haiz..mr chong wan to shift our tutorial from wed to thurs..haiz..then thurs i still can do openhouse anot?haiz..mess up my schedule again...kaoz..beta not change la..if change i will have to shift the time i meet yongjun and my ntuc collegues...
argh...i tink it is high time to study le..haiz..is
high high high alarm le..but i cant study alone..hahaz..force my bro to study with me?hahaz... lolz...
must keep myself off the com le..but with the no of lab reports tat r due...how to? report after report...nv ending de...haiz..like shit sia...
*teary must study hard! *
Rewards for studying hard:
- Movies --> Brother and Hitch(coming in feb)
- K box!!! --> Long time no go le..also got no time siaz..hahaz..
- Trip down to esplanade and millenia walk de big big choco shop... yummy!!!
take care ppl... =)
blogged at 10:09 AM
Sunday, January 16, 2005
tired....straws...confession..
Today went to the homes n decorated..haiz..someting we din expect happened...haiz..but was stunned and disappointed tat one of the homes had actually started to decorate the place themselves..but nvm..as long as there is a festive mood to e place.. =) we added even more ornaments and the place looked real good...
bought 3 bags of straws today at a shopping centre, i tink is called beauty world plaza..when we went for brunch..hahaz..for some purpose..they cost onli 50 cents each bag..heez..so dun scream at me when u c me holding straws everywhere..hahaz..its those drinking straws..the shop is selling all the plastic bags and stuff de..normally i will get them at like 90 cents or a dollar..but the guy was like selling 50 cents..and the plastic is also softer..hahaz..
very fast gona be CNY again..heez..for quite a number of years, my first day of CNY is spent at yishun..hahaz..where we all gather n pray as it's Maitreya Tathagata enlightenment day..hahaz..suddenly i wonder if..wat will I be doing if I have not been exposed to all tis?hahaz..feeling bored liaoz...mind wandering again..hahaz..but seriously speaking..am glad tat i have at least a faith, someting to do,someting to turn to when i need peace..but then..have also seen how ppl r not able to get along bcoz of their faith too..haiz..teary may b beta off alone..
I finally kinda finished GMP lab report..printed it out too..now left with GMP tutorial (last question..she gave 2 questions..hahaz..yes, i'm onli half done..hahaz.), pharma lab report and safety lab report..haiz...so much to do...yet i'm still slacking..have a very bad headache..haiz..and i simply feel so tired..kaoz..
I need to go somewhere n relax.. i need to go esplanade...hahaz..let's see..schedule for next week
- meeting Yongjun to return him his cd n get back my vcd..either mon or wed..
- NYP OPENHOUSE...hahaz..have volunteered myself for it...lolz..well..to obtain my full set of openhouse cca points..ciong ba.. =) should b on thurs..see how..lolz..
- thurs meeting for dinner with my ex colleages from NTUC..
- friday should be going to judy place to make her blog n bake cookies? this is not confirmed yet..hahaz..
well..sat will b yishun..sun will also be at yishun..hahaz..committed lehz..hahaz.. well..teary is a busy ger..tmr is a full day..haiz..now is my turn to go home late le..cos its my turn to do the labs for advanced instrumentation le..haiz..but nvm..got chris loh to tok n crap crap abit..hahaz..
abit of confession here: teary is envious of someone...who is able to get someone who is willing to b with her no matter wat....will teary be able to find someone like him? mayb teary is too sensitive..mayb teary has not found the right person..mayb teary has found but din try..but is e one willing to? how to say such stuff lehz?teary also dunno...well...just stay tuned to my blog..hahaz..
blogged at 11:22 PM
2 guys n a ger..
got sick of being a good ger n my brain simply refuses to work anymore on my
lab reportS..have decided to blog wat happen..well..have asked wilmer to coach my brother in his maths..hahaz..it is such a nice saturday mrg..yet..i was waken up early by mummy n then the start of agony starts..had to pack the place n made it kinda cleaner..hahaz..seriously speaking..i cant reali b bothered la..hahaz..cos wilmer mahz...not... *ahem* but oh well..to pls my mum...just do lorz...the worst part...i even volunteered to mop the floor after sweeping..hahaz..then..after wilmer finished with the coaching, my brother said..he is good..hahaz..tat stingy boy who says his teachers r like so yucky actuali said wilmer is good...
wilmer u reali can go NIE le.. =) can feel tt my bro likes wilmer coaching him..hope tat asshole will be able to make it n get thru his O lvls..
after tat we went to play bball..actually is they play..i more or less is just standing there...hahaz..they seem to enjoy each other's company..hahaz..then we went to jog..well...been like ages since i last exercised..oopz...hahaz..tired..wilmer commented tt my back view look like xiao didi when i was holding the bball..kaoz...teary is ger la...but can become guy if she wear loose clothes n cap..hahaz..we even climbed the stairs up..hahaz..all the way...(i'm staying on the 12th floor!!!) normally i dun dare to climb alone de..heez..cos i feel its creepy..but when someone is with me, i'm okie..hahaz..but i feel kinda bad la..cos..seems like wat mum made or buy is not wat he would eat...so paiseh..hahaz..he left at abt 5?when he came at abt 10 plus close to 11..
then just now mum was telling dad abt how difficult it is to say wilmer's name..but dad was able to spell it when he heard the name..hahaz..
then cos i have a habit of either calling my mum "auntie" or "mi"..i was at it again today..then mum was complaining to dad saying tt me in front of ppl (wilmer) call her auntie..very no manners...haiz..like ma chiam she not my mum...anyway my dad's mum(my grandma) died shortly after i was born n his dad got himself another woman who had like 3 kids of her own? but r now also using my dad's surname..then cos today my dad's dad (my granddad) called the shop where my dad is working n asked for his sister...in a rather not so good tone..so i guess me calling my mum auntie is like kinda reminding my dad abt some stuff..haiz....but..can sense n feel tat dad still cherishes the relationship with his own dad..haiz..well...dad has kinda made it clear..tat CNY just need to go to his mum sister, his sister place..tat's it for his relatives..hahaz..so its more or less like we r not so related le..hmm...if u ask me..i dun realli like dad's side de relatives la..so....heez...
mum also asked how come me n wilmer like quite close..lolz..then i passed wilmer's no to my bro n made tat lazy boy contact wilmer himself..hahaz..for once my brother took the initative.. =) so happy..cos my brother is super lazy de la..hahaz.. =)
in like 6 hours time gonna get out of the house meet n then go decorate red cross..somehow, i feel tat the I/C see i like kid, dun reali wana liase with me..haiz..wat to do? liddat lorz..
sianz..my lab reports n everyting is still stuck...haiz..kns..and i tink i'm not feeling well again...tis few days have been like so weak..haiz..beta get back to doing my stuff..hahaz.. =)
blogged at 1:57 AM
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Cool Guy
! You are most like An Emerald !Caring, giving, - and very emotional. You're the
personpeople turn to with a problem. You worry about
everybody,and genuinely want to help - a little too much
sometimes.As an emerald, you tend to take a more backseat to
the othergems, but your inner beauty soon captivates those
who takethe time to get to know you.Congratulations ... You're the selfless gem
everybody needs as a friend.
?? Which Precious Gem Are You ??
Just watched finish this movie tt my sister bought,titled cool guy...its by e guy who acted in qiu tian de tong hua...the brother.. tt ger has actually watched it in the cinema..but oh well...she still went to buy the vcd...after watching the show, i discovered tt i had actuali read the story before in sembawang library...one of my used to be fav hangouts when i had to transit between jurong n yck...and i had 4 mrt rides a day...hahaz...the story goes briefly like tis...
boy posts a post on ger sch webby,,,ger reply..boy try to seek "revenge" then one day ger wan to climb over wall to escape...then suay suay fell on guy...n kissed him....then the guy dun like ppl to touch him n has nv been kissed...in the end...ger became boy's ger ger...then there's tis pair of siblings who the sister like the boy, brother like the ger...the brother n boy used to be good frenz...they actuali had another fren who was "washed" away by the tide...boy regret nv go save him..cos the brother stop the boy from doing so..so boy hate brother...he tink is coz brother stop him, tat y he cannot save their fren...the movie got alot of sweet sweet parts also...heez..like at the end..cos boy father die of AIDS, so when he was in kindergarden, there was tis bday tingy..n the birthday boy refused to kiss boy..then a ger n kiss the boy..yupz...is the main lead...hahaz...wahz...sweet rite? from last time when they were so young...till now..even though is movie lahz...but it shows sth...if it is urs, turn how big a round also will b urs... =) but is movie la....hahaz...dunno how many percent true...hahaz...
today go joshua sch...learnt some tings...like the 90/10 tingy again...hahaz...its tat 10% is wat happens...90% is ur reaction....hahaz...reali throw face...he;s the onli student...can sense the teacher dun like him...cos he is too straight...haiz...
well, me going slp le...haiz...nv do lab report again...haiz...lazy me...after the session, went for dinner...watch the movie...bathe...then on com blog n see ppl blog...now is 2am le..haiz..nitez ppl..tmr is another housework day...sianz.... =(
blogged at 1:13 AM
Friday, January 14, 2005
teary is a lazy ger
heez...now in ah pek class...heez..i take notes for the video okie...hahaz...for once i'm quite interested...cos until now..actually i still not v sure of how distillation works...the petrochem lab session de line tracing onli make me feel tt i am realli not suitable for this line...i cant even trace properly..haiz...i feel like i have disappointed the cptc trainers..haiz..stupid me...haiz...always like tis..tings i learn i will nv remember..exam over = delete from brain... tink i reali not suitable for tis line...haiz...next time do wat lehz?roam the world...do volunteer work?hahaz...
just now during safety tutorial i seen how prepared my class ppl r...while..me..i'm so unprepared..haiz..i'm like so lazy lahz..haiz...common test coming and i still like so blur...hahaz..jialat....getting more n more blur n stupid...my safety project tings also i forget le..haiz...just now in goh de safety tutorial i told him 16% for oxygen level..when it is 19.5%..haiz...
goh showed us a magic trick...was darn cool...fork can bend without anyting..(liquid metal)hahaz...i noe the secret... =) fork cost is 40 cents...the solution to how come can bend is $50...hahaz...gimme 50 bucks n i'll tell u why..hahaz.. anyway i just volunteered for open house helpout..hahaz..every1 is like can siam siam..but i volunteer..hahaz...well..i dun have cca points wat...collect all the open house de points lorz..hahaz...one whole set..goh say he will be showing it in openhouse...so ppl...must come n see ah..hahaz... =)
well,now to the dilemma prob... haiz..i reali duno wat i wan..n i tink till now...actuali no one has heard from him ba..mayb he has someone else in mind...if so, i will b more of a hinderance...if so, just let everyting pass ba..i will rather have wonderful meomeries than have a painful one...
huiyi n mich all left le..their class end earlier..hahaz...somemore come to my class n say bye...lolz...well..my class supposed to end at 6..later still must go to my brother school to throw face..haiz.. its a meet the parents session...then y must i go?haiz...e other time also i go....jialat..becoming more n more like the housewife...omg...
okie...i have decided to be hardworking..so must listen to ah pek...hahaz...must at least pass everyting ah..if not jialat...will retain half a year lehz..then will waste my time...dun wan to waste my time... haiz...teary must be more hardworking okie... =) blah blah blah..... hahaz...dun tink anyone will believe me...hahaz....the first person to second tis will b judy...hahaz.... =)
okie...tonight i will do safety lab report...hahaz...i hope so can finish lahz..without me feeling sleepy n going to sleep...hahaz...take care ppl......have a nice weekend!!! =)
blogged at 4:08 PM
Thursday, January 13, 2005
the tattoo pics..hahaz..
My leg tattoo...tis one's given free by the lady..hahaz..
I paid 6 bucks for tis dolphin..heez..
tat's me n judy at douby ghaunt MRT..hahaz..
frankly speaking, from the time we left xinmin till now...judy has changed alot..she became braver n more open...me?hahaz...the opposite..i became more quiet n closed up..become more timid..started to slip into depression..and became pesstimistic..well..if onli time could turn back...i wan the happy ger from the past..the one who nv stops laughing..not one who is not true to herself..have to smile when she feels like crying..why cant i be true to myself...y m i bothered by the onlookers stares?wth lahz..life sucks..
oh ya..today i was waken up by mum's screams...hahaz...i wear shorts to bed de mahz..then the leg tattoo was shown..she tot it was real..hahaz..told me firmly in the face is tis real?when i told her it is not..she said..NI BU YAO QU GEI WO NONG NA XIE YOU DE MEI YOU DE...i wonder wat will happen if i reali go make one..hahaz..haiz..its like 8 am in the mrg la..haiz..onli slept for like 6 hours...haiz..she noe once i wake up i cant sleep back easily de..n she noes i'm starting school late today..then she say in case i sleep till 12 and nv do any hsework..haiz..tis is so....haiz..well..gotta do my part in hsework..BUT..why onli me?haiz...just bcoz i'm starting school early..haiz..mid term tests r coming..tink i'm gonna die lorz..hahaz..gonna b late for lab le..sianz..well..they say the first petrochem lab session is easy..well..see how lorz..
blogged at 1:47 PM
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
correction!!!
today sylvia highlighted someting she read in my blog...wat she say is "love is a game"..not wat i have published here "love is noting but a game" have kinda quoted her wrongly..hahaz..she says it makes her seem like a feng chen nu zi...hahaz....sorri to any potential guys who wish to know her but have backed off after reading my blog..lolz..sylvia is good catch..every ger fren i have is good catch...heez...erm...me...not so good la..hahaz.. =)
just now went to meet judy..hahaz..was supposed to watch the fockers lahz..in the end..i was late, she was late..so we meet at sommerset..and got ourselves the airbrush tattoo..hahaz..took photos with her fone too..when i get the pics from her, i will put them up..hahaz..i got mine at my hand n leg..see how's the effect..hahaz..
feel so tired..mum says i duno when to rest de..always on the run..everywhere..just now when i was still at douby ghaunt mrt abt 10 plus...close to 11pm, mum called...and dad said he's gonna latch the door...haiz..i noe they r worried tat my place here is quiet n there r "weird" ppl ard..and i'm fond of meeting ppl n tok till i forget time...is tis one of the reasons why i'm not allowed to take 2 B license?haiz..
today in albert's lect, we were like discussing stuff over a piece of paper..hahaz..well.....i tink..i'm not sure of wat to do..and wat i wan..haiz...i reali dunno la..just lost la..is not i xiao hai zi qi..is not i dun wana get out of the hole..is i duno wat to do...can someone guide me? hahaz...making myself sound like an idiot...haiz...got to go slp le..its nearing 2 am le..everyday also sleep so late..duno do wat sia...nv do enuff housework and nv bother to do my lab reports...haiz...teary is a loser cum failure... =(
blogged at 11:54 PM
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
wat to do next lehz?
Today was late for petrochem tut..again..haiz..at least i went for class.. =) hahaz..year after year i make it in my resolution tt i will not b late..but it appears in my yearly resolutions...hahaz..
Hmmm..Been looking at some nice tattoo designs..hahaz..hope to get one when i'm 21..hahaz..not gonna do them on my limbs though..hahaz..most prob gonna b at some where hidden..hahaz..lowerback?chest?hahaz...gonna b a secret...
After school, i went down to north point...anna has squash, so i went to buy celery n walk ard..while anna was slacking...lolz..in the end, i walked away not onli with the celery but...a white pants from U2..and also a white top from baleno..hahaz..spend 33 bucks...well...impulsive buying again...haiz..broke liaoz..lolz..but they look good la..hahaz..by themselves...not sure if tat is the case when it's on me though..hahaz..its not the case of no confidence in myself...but..i'm not exactly tat slim.. =(
this year is the last NYP openhouse tat i can see le..wondering how the shirt will b like...hahaz..i wan.....a XL de..hahaz...
just received a fwd from someone..heez..kinda wonder how he is like now lah...anyway a little msg for him.....
* dun overwork n take care.. =) *
blogged at 11:26 PM
Monday, January 10, 2005
time passes so fast..
Haiz..Time passes so fast...its like it has been a month back at sch le..yet i still like blur blur...i dun understand wat the lecturers r tokking..haiz...got the results for quekie's e quiz..wth..i got onli 8 out of 15...when everyone is like getting 12 or 14...haiz...i'm a loser...
Okie, I admit i hate studying..but wat can i do manz....its the last semster....haiz..time to clear out a place to study...haiz..I need motivation siaz...haiz..no more idiot to tell me to study hard le.. =(
Anyway, itching to go watch 2 movies now..the korean one by won bin, BROTHER and of course HITCH by will smith..hahaz...hitch is onli coming in feb....i wan watch brother b4 the mid term tests come...relax abit..( as if i have not relaxed enuff) hahaz..anyone interested in watching? =)
had a big quarrel with my bro just now...okie okie..i noe its bad of me to stop him from playing computer games and go do his studying..when i'm not studying...but its for his own good...haiz..
well, going over to ah ma place le..tonight's the AGM..haiz..welcome to the confusing world of adults...hahaz..
blogged at 4:24 PM
Saturday, January 08, 2005
lost..need courage..
Well, just to add on to the previous post...hahaz...i went down to serangoon north to cut my hair wat...guess who i saw working at ntuc? Idiot....lolz...so long nv see him..nearly couldn't recognise him...hahaz..he seems to have put on some weight...n i tot NS was supposed to let one lose weight...seeing him makes me remember wat happen...ah....stinky old story...shall not be tok abt again here..hahaz...guess i just lack of courage and determination at tt time lorz...hahaz.. Someone once told me..tat i dun have determination n i lack guts...and i m too wishy washy...i hesistate too much... I should be more decisive..more firm..But..will I be able to change tings like tat?
I have been told i worry too much..consider too much..i seem to put love on the scales..which is wrong..but..seriously..having seen the ugly side of humans...how do u expect me to believe tt one is willing to scarifice for love..just a 4 letter word.. call me timid...call me stupid..mayb its just like wat they say,i have not met mr.right..mayb there is no mr right..hahaz..anyway nowadays ppl treat love like a game...like wat sylvia said...love is noting but a game, ppl who can afford to play with it, get away unhurt, but ppl who cant, simply get hurt...I guess i beong to the 2nd type..i noe i will get hurt...mayb i love myself too much to wan to see myself hurt...cos when i'm down..i start to be idiotic n irritate the shit out of everyone..i become weak..then how can i still provide the support for the ppl ard me..rmb wat a ger told me when i first started to work...save ur own butt b4 u consider saving others....how blunt yet true ... mayb i shld simply ignore everyting n just play with fire for once..how many can play with fire n get away unhurt? hahaz.. we shall see.. a good fren of mine told me..there's a whole big forest out there...it's only a matter of whether u can clear them anot..hahaz..
teary shall take one step at a time..cos she does not wish to tear anymore... =) May she have the courage n determination to get on and find someone of her dreams...
blogged at 11:50 PM
Haircut...hahaz..
Went to cut my hair today...even though everyone opposes to it...hahaz..i just wanted a change la..hahaz.. here r the before n after pics...hahaz...
BEFORE teary went for a haircut.....
AFTER the haircut....
hahaz...so how is it? got look beta?hahaz..mum says look more refresh...i tink now at least dun need to tie hair le...and also like look not so much like a kid... =) no more 17 yr old kid..hahaz..
blogged at 11:18 PM
Friday, January 07, 2005
wat a day!!!
feeling tired and having symptoms of a hangover...i tink is due to yest too late sleep...however, I still did not make it for the safety lecture at 8am...lolz..jialat..went onli for the GMP and the safety lab..skipped process tutorial too..haiz..then went toa payoh..hahaz..anna pei me walk walk..was not feeling too good..tink i going to b sick soon..started my buying and eating craze..haiz...the singapore mint was having its roadshow there too..the coins look good..but the one tt was at suntec was beta...got more tings...
today b4 going for safety lab, were playing the fool again..cos my top was too short n jeans too baggy..(all my jeans r now baggy..lolz..lost weight mahz..hahaz...) i was carrying too big a bag..hahaz..then sylvia n mich attempted to strip me to see wat lies beneath... ~> _ < ~ was like screaming as usual...haiz..lolz..then i walked into the lab laughing like a siao charbo...haiz..tot i can keep my image of loner n quiet ger...but...haiz... tmr going to cut hair...nearly every1 telling me not to cut...if not will....haiz..tmr go ask lobster see how... i'm feeling funny...like hangover liddat..very tired,weak,nauseous,sleepy,headache...haiz..tat sylvia still purposely call me when i was sleeping..make me call her back...then we tok for more than an hour..haiz..she tell me classified got jobs..well..currently now my weekends r like for yishun la..so teary has become religious again..lolz..so if teary go work..she cannot b as religious le.. haiz.. its like choosing btw faith n money...well, i guess i simply will have to control my spending.. =) and not go get my bike license for the time being...mum n dad r still kinda against it..esp after they noe i will ride up to jurong island if i were to be working there..haiz..uncle say jurong island those monster lorry dun hiew u small bike de...lolz.. nvm..if i cant get my own bike license i shall play with my life n be pillion.. (cos accident normally pillion die first) hahaz..but who will fetch me ard?hahaz.. okie...i go slp le...buay tahan...was sleeping okie b4 sylvia called..haiz..tinking of sleeping till tmr de..haiz...tmr haircut...duno wat will become of me...haiz..will load before n after pics...hahaz... *watch tis space*
Your Hidden Power Is Water
You have a rather calm soul, but when tempted
will get pissed off at those who bug you. You
do whatever you can in your powers to help
those of your allies and have a okay taste for
human kind, but you find them rather annoying
on occasions.
Gem Stone: Saphire,
Eye Color:Ice
Blue,
Hair Color:Dark Blue that's long
that goes to your waist.
Quote:If you wait for meThen I'll come for you. Although I've travelled
far, I always hold a place for youIn my heart. If you think of me, If you miss me
once in a while, Then I'll return to you. I'll
return and fill that space in your heart
blogged at 9:52 PM
Recollection of 2004
Hahaz..do my lab report till headache..decided to do a recollection of 2004..hahaz..instead of doing my report, i'm always doing lame tings...hahaz..like changing my blog skin..lolz..
In 2004..I became more attached to my family..Dad was jobless..then dad n mum went to work at colin there...I remember going for the buddha tooth relic exhibition at expo...was such a big event...its like someting from so long ago...still intact... then later mum n dad become jobless again..b4 dad found job at chek gong there..Mum started working with wendy at singpost...I went jurong island (CPTC) ..had tons of fun,laughter n tears there..became stronger yet weaker at the same time..worked at techpoint..made new frenz..started to take meat sometimes again..haiz..Bought a new hp..samsung 460C..bought my first expensive type of jewellery....the taka ear rings for grandma birthday...costed me a bomb..but well, i guess they r worth every cent... =) always feel nauseous and fell sick easily towards the end of 2004...
the tsunami tat killed alot of ppl...dec 26....war..sars..noting appeared to b good...mediacorp n mediaworks became one...
In 2005, I hope to find lurve,courage,security,health,peace n happiness..tings tt sound so easy, yet they nv come easy..I hope to be able to get a job after i grad to support the family..lessen the load on dad n mum's shoulders..get my bike license..be more strong..be able to brave against any wind or rain..to be there for ppl when they need someone..not ppl being there for me...its like i'm always taking..never giving...this year...i hope to give...I may not have much to give, but i will try... =)
May 2005 be a smooth year for everyone... Buddha bless..
blogged at 1:13 AM
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Kung Fu!
Yest went to watch kung fu with wilmer..after school..went PS to watch..some funny stuff happen too..lolz..The show is super funny lahz...but as usual the cinema is freaking cold..haiz..why must they make the cinema so cold?wear windbreaker also like nv wear liddat...haiz..I bought the kung fu popcorn set..hahaz..the lollipop!!!! have taken pic of it..will b putting it up soon when i load the pics from the camera..hahaz..mum says if i were to eat tat ting will kum chek..hahaz..nice mahz...so i buy is to see de..not to eat..hahaz...
Saw one coming soon movie..hitch..by will smith..below is wat i found on GV webby..
Alex "Hitch" Hitchens (Will Smith) is a tactical adviser who specializes in first impressions - he customizes and orchestrates a client's first three dates - HITCH has been secretly responsible for hundreds of New York City weddings. Sara (Eva Mendes), a gossip reporter for a daily tabloid who, after a chance meeting with Hitch, finds her professional life and personal life on a collision course. She makes Hitch re-evaluate his game and teaches him that love is not a feeling, it's an action.
It seems so funny...I wana watch..anyone interested?But it is onli in Feb..hahaz..
then went to his uncle place to eat...the uncle refuse to accept money lahz...haiz...so pai seh..when i used to study in xinmin, always go to that coffeeshop to eat the malay food with diana de...the world is so small... =) hougang changed alot le...
today got no school...will be rushing lab report..packing the room..finishing the house work..b4 going over to ah ma place..for gathering..I clean forgotten abt it la..until aunt reminded me..haiz..getting old le...wth...
tmr mayb after school going ikea..see how first..see if too tired..hahaz..cos sch is from 8-6pm..darn siong!!!! haiz...tired..wana revamp my room...a new change ba..shld be beta..hahaz..
starting to wonder if i'm becoming more n more stupid..haiz..ppl ard me seems to b able to understand watever is being taught..onli me seems to b in a daze...and i'm always late for class or missing it cos i'm too late..if tis goes on, will i even make it for attendance? hahaz..i dunno..
saturday going to cut hair at lobster's salon...now go lab wear the stupid suit must tie hair..in the end, now my hair all like curly..qiao qiao de...haiz...duno wan to cut wat le..hahaz..i cut hair dun need to worry de..hahaz...cos in the end when i sit there, will trust lobster...hahaz..dun need to kill brain cells...see he got wat good idea.. =) will prefer him to do my hair...hahaz..mayb cos used to it le..if 1 day he decides not to do hairdressing, i jialat..hahaz..
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed
You like to be alone and see everything around you.
u like to do things alone. your a fall fairy
but fall is a very pretty and soft time of year
blogged at 10:39 AM
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
choco day!!!
am now sitting in front of the com with my box of maltesers and doing the stupid lab report...sorry to e ppl who called me yest while i was doing the stupid report n i kinda snapped at u all...i noe u guys wun see it lahz...but then typing it here makes me feel beta.. =)
today during tutorial, mich's class was beside mine lahz...then tt sylvia call me when class strted to tell me tt...lolz..then during break..they came over to "sneak attack" me... haiz...kena tickled..and i was like screaming...hahaz...they say must make sure i get used to it...omg...how to get used to ppl touching u... ~>_<~
ate alot of choco today....duno why...got massive craving...hahaz...like pregnant liddat....hahaz...
was chatting to judy just now over msn...hahaz...were talking abt beach n relaxing.... my ideal day at a beach starts at the evening...watch sunset, play with sparklers...eat tidbits there..wahz...imagine the sparklers in the night.... :drools: romantic n nice nice...
charbo seems pretty stressed over her project...hope she will get thru it proper n well...ger, u can do it de....jia you!!!!
thurs going over to ah ma place..alamakz...how to meet siaz....tinking of getting my stuff at ikea le...revamp my room...n the stupid laundry basket..must go get le...haiz...so many tings to do...so little time...
i had beta get back to my report...haiz...sianz...dunno how to do means dunno.... wana cry le...
blogged at 11:25 PM
Monday, January 03, 2005
lost..guide me..
hmm...today was like chatting and fooling ard in lecture as usual..when we were like sitting together..then started playing with my hp...haiz..sylvia went to call someone while mich replied to the sms received...well..dunno lahz..guess i'm not prepared for anyting like tis yet..not feeling well today...felt cold all the time...and uncomfortable...
today then i noe tt tmr got to hand in pharma lab report tmr...the best part? i dun even have the raw data...thanks alot to jon who sent them to me just now...the lab report like v difficult n long...dun understand alot of tings...tink i not cut out for all tis petro or pharma tingy...haiz..i feel like crying...tis yr...is not starting out good for me...
some asshole call n hang up...tink ur no private can disturb huh?kaoz....
haiz...back to doing my lab report le...if not can dun sleep liaoz....haiz..
*teary is feeling lost n confused..need to talk..need to sort out her tots..need a ear..*
blogged at 10:10 PM
Sunday, January 02, 2005
pizza!!!
Dad brought back pizza..heez..when was the last time i ate pizza?when i was on shift training with BBITE..hahaz...well, the pizza dad brought back sure tasted good... =)
Yest went for supper at old hse there e prata..but i guess we too many ppl go le..they messed up our orders and charged us cheaper lorz...hahaz... nice place...
coughing again like crazy again....like always sick sia...2005 dun seem to b a good year.... =(
hmmm...got to go do my lab report le...
blogged at 9:44 PM
