Welcome to my world

Saturday, January 31, 2004

been breaking alot of promises tis days, using vulgarities, losing temper, arghhh... cant go on like tis... must change liaoz... haiz... carry on like tis and i will b back to drinking laioz...diaoz... CANNNOT...but recently, everyting is coming back again... diaoz... cant go back to the old me... remain calm... must be at peace..

hope to learn swimming in a month... i will prove to u i m NOT USELESS... fine... amyb studies wise, i not tat good, but i will make sure u get shocked... ONE MONTH... tat is all the time i m giving myself... I WILL DO IT!

CONQUER YOUR FEAR REGINA! STUDIES U HAVE ALREADY LOST... SO IT ODES NOT MATTER... MUST BE ABLE TO SWIM... MUST PROVE THEM ALL WRONG...FUCKING WRONG... haiz... scolded vulgarieties again... sianz...

i have founf the quote site laioz.... http://www.tzuchi.org.tw/
it has very meaning stuff... go to the chinese one is beta... :P

sometimes i wonder which is the real me... there seem to be so many of myself... haiz.. libra? scorpio? diaoz... HUMAN LAHZ... haha...

blogged at 1:51 AM

Friday, January 30, 2004

just now was very obvious... at song class... i need a light, a guidance to help me... i cant be like her, just say okie, i wan out.. i wan to be frenz with everyone... why must make until got to choose which side? all are my frenz... i really dunno wat to do...u guys just decided out without informing me anyting...is tat fair? couldn't we just trash tings out? i feel like i'm always the last to be informed on alot of tings... tings tat dun concern me i dun tink i will b tat bothered... but tings tat do concern me.. kindly let me noe lahz.. mayb i dunno the whole picture.. i need to noe wat is happening before i make any decision rite? i dunno wat to say liaoz... oh well... everyone just be happy... i m also trying to get rid of my unhappiness...i m just very tired...VERY TIRED!

to someone: actuali u may tink tat u r very hurt,yes, i know u r, but do u noe tat u r much more luckier than me? when u r drunk u still have ppl ard u.. have u ever been drunk n just spend the nite in a public toilet cubicle? dun let the ppl who care for u down..let bygones be bygones... start afresh.. i noe it is easier to say, but u can do it..

when one wears the beads, everyting also must "ren" (bear/put up with tings) " ping jin" (calm),"kan kai" ( let go) i discovered i like cant acceive any of tis... haiz...must improve...

haiz... dunno wat to say... but got long wk end... mayb everyone go calm down ba...

blogged at 2:28 AM

Thursday, January 29, 2004

Something happened yest.. Well.. it's too late to point fingers now...i tink i m the catalyst who speed up everyting... catalyst dun take part in reaction but speeds the reaction up..mayb i should have just got home in the rain and not go for the stupid SCL gathering... then mayb noting would have happened.. Well.. maybe its my fault... well.. dunno wat to say liaoz... walk one step at a time ba.. But really.. i m abit sick of tis...why got to split until like tis? i dun wan to risk losing anyone's frenship.. m I suppose to just stay alone? Will being a loner be beter? I dun wana be alone�� I can honestly say tat u guys have been a pillar of support since some stuff happen.. but now�� I dunno wat to say or do.. I just need some warmth and support��. Am I not liable for tat? I cant get tat warmth n support at home.. but now��. Mayb home��s temperature is higher than in school�� I just need support n warmth�� mayb I seeked it at the wrong place n wrong time..mayb i was wrong to get out of the hse in the first place..
something is wrong with me�� I know.. but I simply can��t bring myself to go for a check up�� there��s a saying�� can die but can��t sick�� cos if sick will have a lot of problems�� but if die, it��s onli a funeral and grief.. but with sickness, need ppl to take care need $$$ there is pain��and frustration�� but I will start to lead a healther lifestyle�� will cut down on oily food and sweet stuff�� will start to walk more too�� must exercise��

well, got to go sch liaoz... dunno wat will happen there... later still got to go yishun... i need to find activities to relax... diaoz...

blogged at 6:15 PM

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

today went to sch then wanted to return quek (he say i got lady boss face... haha) the cd i borrowed.. anyway must get the other disc frm him soon... but he on leave... haiz... psst... huiyi paying $5 for burning the two disc n qiang wei zhi lian ost ... haha... take the $5 can go buy food everyone eat... :P wait ofr huiyi "treat " ba... heez... today went for the shell talk... hmm... mayb next time can work there... well, hope to work ther lahz... haiya... as long as i got job can liao... it seems very rewarding lorz... :P

today onli me n huiyi lunch... like the whole grp becoming more n more seperated.... haiz... dunno wat to say liaoz....

blogged at 9:54 PM

oh ya... suddenly idiot msg me.... heez...today me n cuijie were still talking over tis... haha... he dun msg me i dun msg him... but in the end is still he msg me... heez.....

blogged at 12:25 AM

well.. it's final... i will not be working anymore...actuali hor.. also cant blame the ppl there.. last time at ntuc, we also bully newbie..suddenly remember how i was bullied... heez...
got alot to say one... dunno got enuff time to type anot... haha... anyway just now got go see quek lorz... haha... he got buy the remember lehz... dun need to wait and d/l liaoz... just burned just now,... duno can hear anot... wait i try.. he tell us alot abt our course... haiz... onli add to the fact tat i regret tis cos even more... diaoz... tat guy say i got lady boss face... haha... still got like tis ah... diaoz...
the nite class make up the song heng mun give us one person one rocher... haha... bribe us... but he also very cute lahz... i must have given him a very deep impression... first day laugh thru his whole lesson... then now anyhow ans qn... somemore is the WRONG ans.... haiz.... i going slp laioz lahz... nitez... got alot to blog... but lazy... : P

blogged at 12:23 AM

Monday, January 26, 2004

well... after a day of discussing and kp ing, i have decided not to work at breeks... onli 8 hrs.... 2 days onli and i RUN away... haiz... dunno lahz.. very bu gan yuan...but...mum n dad not v hapi..hmmm... hafnt call to tell them say i not working... well..just told michelle tat i will not be working... but.. hafnt told mum n dad.. guess they will be happy to know tat i not working ba... but... i still wana work.. just tat maybe have to find the type which will let me go off at the time they say they will....well... actuali working there is fun lorz...see alot of interesting customers.. just tat cant go off at 10.30.. haiz.. will miss the place lorz... but not the bitches... grrrrrrrrrrrrr.... oh well... time to look for another job... but before i go off MUST complain to the terrence first... arghhhhh..... must copmplain tat cindy ah... stupid bitch...must plan wat to say b4 i go complain to him... in case later give him say...EVERYONE, PLAN WAT U WAN TO COMPLAIN THEN I HELP U ALL SAY... HAHA..THEN I WILL GO OFF.. HAHA..LATER MUST PURPOSELY ASK PPL GO BREEKS PURPOSELY ZI XIAO THEM... MUST GET HUIYI OR WILMER TO TAKE THEIR PHOTOS... THEN EASIER FOR THEM TO HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE... *notti notti*

hmmm... time to look for another job.. dunno wan to do wat lehz... feel so lost... if i work it will be like... haiz... some tings r best left unsaid...dunno do wat liaoz... if dun work then MUST FORCE MYSELF TO STUDY.. if work, work wat? haiz.. i dun wanan go back to SGB to work... diaoz... too many meomeries there... it pains my heart to see the tings there.... tings nv change... but humans change...feelings change..emotions change..mentality change too... haiz.. onli those who gone thru will noe how it is like... *ouch* well, if really got no where, then mayb i will work back there lorz.. now most impt ifi wana work is to convince mum n dad..

alot of tings not done yet... sch work, paper work, house work,haiz.. i never pack the room or the ward robe yet... haiz... REGINA GAMBETTE!!! U CAN DO IT!

free books to read online... haha... but then v limited stock... www.nap.edu

blogged at 8:23 PM

FUCK FUCK FUCK.... argfhhhh stupid breeks...i will survive... i will b faster and will not make mistakes... arghhh........... today went ard the lecturer's hse... goh kids were... haiz... wilmer lahz... late... then we went to buy red wine... like so funny... diaoz... but goh son very cute.... yi fan...call him fan fan... the daughter call tong tong... went to wong hse next... his daughter call samantha n nicole...very cute too... then went to charlie's hse... darn chio... went missing while trying to look for charlie hse... took cab... pay $3... haiz.. then went to pang hse using cab... then pang send us to work... cos going to late liaoz.... then we forgot the orange and he later purposely took them down to give us... hmm... so he is the emphasise on tradition de ppl... well he said tat breeks pay was low... well...wat to do... haiz....kena diaoz alot today... can hear tat cindy complaining to ken abt me... say the sauce i nv take n stuff... >_< haiz.... i first day do food runner... put me at drinks i tink i will be beta ba... cos first day do drinks...more familiar with drinks... went off onli at 11 plus...dad was waiting for me... oops... tink they not so hapi abt me working there... cos i tell them there close at 10.30 but alwasy drag until so late... haiz....alot of reports all not done n stuff... still cant get myself to study.... arghhh...MUST STUDY............. sianz.zz.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z..z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.zz. arghhhhhhhhhhhh haiz... hui n hao reallyu came to breeks today...tat ger reali listen to me n come so early... haiz... ext time ask her to come ard closing... then can tok abit... :P

blogged at 2:22 AM

Saturday, January 24, 2004

Congratulations! You're Sam!

Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
HASH(0x84d361c)

Reincarnation: You are nice enough to go to heaven,
but Earth won't be as fun without you. So you
shall come back as someone or something else.
As a real optimist and lighthearted person, you
always see the good in things. People probably
respect you for your wonderful personality and
love for life. People like you make the world a
happier place (please rate my quiz)

**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
bed

Your soul is bound to the Rose Bud: The
Naive.

"I keep all of my secrets somewhere inside
and though I haven't let myself shine to the
world, I'm good for something but too good to
give to you."

The Rose Bud is associated with innocence,
curiosity, and confidence. It is governed by
the god Cupid and its sign is The Dewdrop, or
Puppy Love.

As a Rose Bud, you may have grand ideas about love
and you may well be inexperienced. You tend to
be optomistic, idealistic, and curious, but
it's just because you like being a positive
person. You also may have high thoughts of
yourself, and can come off a bit conceited, but
it's just a mask to hide your lack of
experience.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're sweet and innocent on the outside but on the inside you're one wild horny bunny!

You're sweet and innocent on the outside but on the inside you're one wild horny bunny!

Congratulations! You're a Bunny Hug!!

What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
youare...horn

You are... The Horn Of Gondor!

You're very brave and loyal to your friends,
bursting with confidence, you're known as
"The Loud One."

Which LOTR object are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

blogged at 11:59 PM

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

alot of days nv update blog liaoz... well.. curretnly working at breeks liaoz... well...not reali v good lahz.. hope can be better... well... alot of stuff lorz... yesterday went ard the place with mum and dad to find tat china leek... liews... reach home onli at abt 2am... today went for maths... onli one hour....but drag cos tat yong say he got to teach finish... haiz... he also abit poor ting lorz... well tis yr chi new year going to fong hse as nusual on the third day... tat means i cant go doreen there liaoz.... hmmm... was hoping to go there... sunday (fourth day) go leture's hse and also got owrk... haizzz... oh ya... must meet owyong on the third day... diaoz... hmmm... alot of tings to do...today went to bugis with michelle n huiyi... well... the skirt is nice... but i tink must realli lose weight first...must try to learn swimming... then i thursday can swim.... then can lose weight.,.. well... i not eating tat much tidbits and all liaoz...hope can slim down ba... then can fit in the skirt nice nice laioz... heez.... well... till then... it's trying to get over fear of water first... hope to be able to learn ba... also the breeks hor... haiz.,... so tat's two tings to do... LEARN TO SWIM, SLIM DOWN.. haha.. wish me success... gtg... hafnt pack the room... diaoz...

blogged at 7:28 PM

Sunday, January 18, 2004

today mrg the pal ting is so lame... mrg i was woken up by fadrizal sms... diaoz... as usual..last min need ppl help cos got ppl dua him... haiz... after the pal ting went to mich hse, left bag there n wore her shirt to go distibut the ting... then while we went to breeks for the orientation, jonathan n wilmer help to distribute...after breeks fin, we went back... huiyi n cuijie also help.... cuijie bro working at woodlands osim...ask him wat's his name he say ren guang or YK... diaoz... i so late never got any news frm idiot.... someone must rake up meomeries of him.... ARGHHHH......

today woodlands got abt 21 boxes... diaoz... mich take one box go home, wilmer take one, and i took one full and one opened... the full one in the end go yishun...

very tired sia... picture if next time work breeks will be like tis .... wahz... tmr going cherry home... well... must remember to bring the photos for the burma nurses to see.... well... i really v tired... arghhh......

today at the end of distributing... feel tat blood sugar sudden low.....got some time dun ahev so mnusch withdrawal liaoz... hmmm... someting is wrong with my body... then my ear alsways one side stuck.... jialat... the tissue paper.... haiz... cant even earn $50 i gues... diaoz...

go slp laiz.... nitez....

blogged at 1:16 AM

Saturday, January 17, 2004

today is such a funny day... got tis stupid lame guy call micheal...dunno where is the roads and all... give out in toa payoh liaoz then went down to ps to meet ohana..went to buy swim wear... then later go toa payoh interchange to give agian... haiz... got ppl say no to free tissue got ppl take more n more... haiz... mrg i give one box... toa payoh interchange there is 8 boxes... michelle also got her frens to help... they even more siong... from the mrt there bring until amk mac go distribute... haha...haiz... michelle distribut amk not wrong sia... see her frens then grab to help... wahz...BUT... i tink she like more keen on getting a proper job liaoz... heng ah... i finlally can let motivate my qian jin to work... but ku le my frenz...

then mich n anna come and help me out... later anna sister also came... haha...
GUYS THANKS FOR HELPING ME TODAY... TREAT U ALL IN SCH K...THANKS...

got to know tis two nu skin ppl... deryl and lilian... haha... can go for free facial... diaoz... hmmm... sounds abit dangerous...:X

tmr will be 19 boxes sia.... diaoz... one box is like 700 tissues packets lor...siaoz... haiz... stupid micheal onli give 3-4 hr... well.. tmr 8.15-12 is pal training.. 2pm--??? is the tissue ting... 4.30 is breeks... 7.30 is meeting for yishun for the new year ting... enlightenment day briefing... and i tink i m the one who is briefing them.. if i never remember wrongly... wahz... tmr is do cram... night time they still wana go bukeit timah i tink... someone pls make me disappear.,... haha...

when go down breeks ask wilmer to help me distribute... hmm.. tat means i owe four ppl treats... anna , mich , anna sisiter and wilmer... if he comes and help me tmr... :P

http://www.tissueads.com/index.html --> tis is tat website of the stupid guy... who dunno his way ard singapore n dunno tat tissue also got ppl reject... haiz...

well... tmr got the pal ting... very early.. so i must go slp soon...well bloggie nitez...

blogged at 1:38 AM

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

today is a pretty bad day.. well, to start tings of... today spend alot of $.. went down to cold storage at northpoint to try see if can get the part time cahier job tat they put up at the notice board..but... haiz... still cant get it..WHY OTHER POLY STUDENTS CAN GET JOBS I CANT.. I DUN BELIEVE IT.. I MUST HAVE THE GO-GETTER ATTITUDE..I CAN GET A JOB DE... 3rd year still need to pay sch fees anot huhz?if need hor i jialat liaoz... must go find factory job or watever... i dun wana teach tuition lahz... i tink i not up to it... afterall i not pro teacher mahz.. dun ruin the kids future... haiz... but i need the cash... haiz... COLD HARD CASH... it is so cold it has no feelings... haiz.. and so many ppl can fall out bcoz of money.. even if they r brothers... coming out from the same womb... haiz...

today get to know alot of "news" haiz.. wat do i have to say? i can be there for u if u need me.. but it is up to u to get out and over with it... it is not the time to tink at who played out who.. when a pair of scales is tilted, both sides become out of balance..

even more tings are happening at home.. sometimes i dun feel like coming home.. but.. REGINA, U CAN BE BRAVE..FACE IT..U KNOW U CAN..

reali long time no idiot news liaoz... haha.. today his fren kept calling i kept pretending i not free... heez...

today is the day owyong go ns.. he called to say byeeeeee when i was in sunil lec.. haiz.. wish him good luck.. judy say he will kena bullied de.. cos he so gay ... :X heez... got no comments...

blogged at 12:18 AM

Sunday, January 11, 2004

alot of tings are happening... bth at home and at sch.. well.. guys i have some bad news for all.. well, times are bad and everyting.. so i will not be able to log on and hang online like i used to be.. so guys if u all wana find me pls contact my hp.. hope i can find a job soon ba... wish me luck fellaz... bye...

blogged at 10:53 PM

Saturday, January 10, 2004

hmmm.... alot of tings ahpen recently.. well, abt the question tat huiyi posed tat day, she asked me tat mich wans to know if we mind her always hanging ard with jesse and all.. well.. if i say i dun mind, then i m lying..i will definitely prefer how we were like in the past but the world is always changing one mahz.. so cant stay too stagnant.. hmm.. just see how ba..

To someone: i know tat u r very weak now,with all that is happening and stuff, but u got to believe in urself tat u can do it without him too.. there is no need for u to live under a mask, why torture urself? just be urself.. most impt must be happy, and dun feel like u owe anyone or anyting..hmm.. dunno wat to say liaoz... well.. erm.. must take care of urself ba..

today tried to log in to the darn cms.. kept kicking me out.. well.. haiz.. need to log in mine and huiyi one too.. stupid com.. diaoz.. me go slp liaoz.. lahz...

hmm... suddenly realised that din have idiot or his fren news for some time.. well, wonder how is everyone now.. today got ah poh msg.. he just come back from burnei.. hmm... looks like ns also buay pai.. can go here go there... haha...

blogged at 1:59 AM

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

just came home from ah ma hse... went over to discuss abt the duty for e-day.. well.. they all say i look tired... hmm... do i?
hmm... well.. at least manaaged to try to get someting off my to do list.. hmm... i cant find the marketing notes... diaoz... haiz..

jon today sick.. then i asked if i pass the sickness to him thru msn.. haha... alot of ppl sick ah.. even the doc says so.. haha... well me going to slp soon... if not tmr cant wake up jiu die laioz....

blogged at 11:44 PM

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

yest first day of sch.. i was late for one hour...diaoz.. then had bad rash... abt 7 pm went to the doc.. had a jab and all.. haiz..then dad said tat the owner of the shop brought in some malay guy to do repair of the bike too.. guess he's not very happy with someting.. haiz..heard from mum n dad conversation tat they gona split the money earned btw dad n the malay guy.. haiz.. must get job asap.. well wat can i say? never underestimate the power of a jab and S11.. haha..

today din go to sch too..had an mc..wonder wat i missed in sch.. very interested in how the chris looks like...
hmm.. got mc then wat to doah.. go where submit sia.. nvm.. tmr go ask albert.. haha.. quekie yest say the modules we taking are easier...he also tell us alot of internal news.. haha.. like how albert is so jialat planning all the timetable.. how they nearly got in trouble... well then also the part abt doing sem pro urself.. duno wat topic to do also.. just discovered tat the abortion stuff i had already del away.. hmm... how... do wat leh?

blogged at 3:31 PM

Sunday, January 04, 2004

today went to the homes to do the new year decorations.... but discover tat not enuff... so went to make even more... haha...everyone make until so tired all duno make correct anot and started to talk rubbish... haha...but however no one went home... make until all really buay tahan then went back... so responsible... well sometimes i wonder is it good or bad.. i'm nt saying being responsible is bad... it's just tat sometimes when being too responsible makes it difficult on urself and other tings mahz... well, no choice...if say out will kena stabbed... if dun say then just tiam tiam and do lorz.... if not how?after the making of mew year decoration ended, me still went to amk to buy fruits with mum and dad.. wahz... siong manz.. anyway tmr school is so early siaz.... dunno can make it anot...

guys... how is the shopping trip today? hope u guys had a great time... well, i also want to go... but horz.. duty calls.... sorry ah... will make it up to u all k..

well few hours more and we will all see each other liaoz... heez.... i tink the first ting u all will say when u all see me is... u have grown fatter.... >_< haiz...

too fun a time in burma liaoz.... heez....

blogged at 11:33 PM

Saturday, January 03, 2004

yesterday went back to sch for the nyp pal forum ting..quite fun... run here run there... haha.. got a very wacky faciliator...hmmm...very tired... haha.. well... dunno wat to write... oh yah... mich, u must take care of urself hor...me gtg liaoz... heez...

blogged at 2:41 PM

Thursday, January 01, 2004

how's everyone's countdown like?well... mine was like... spend over mee goreng and prata? well.. at first say we like have meeting to solve the paperwork problems... but however it was spend on making the new year decorations for the homes.. then suddenly they see 4-D and then one of them strike 4-D so we went out for supper... haha.. i cooked pasta n soup for dinner... haiz... big failure... cos one of the kid din really take western food... haiz... well.. cant pls all.. heez... today going over to my grandma there gonna cont make the new year decorations and the paperwork and plan the duty roster too... diaoz... haiz....hmmm... why like all the tings cant finish de... haiz..

guys.. sorry i cant join u all on sunday to go to queensway shopping centre... i going to home...have a great time okie...

blogged at 12:15 PM