Wednesday, March 31, 2004
just went for the SP career talk... kinda hungry and stuff... hahaz... so in the end i copied down wat the speaker said.... hmmm... will try to type them here if possible... hmm... can say tat the talk just kinda let me see how the industry is abt..its abt all this: cost efficient..shift work..travelling..
now finally noe wat idiot meant when he say tat i shld count myself lucky when i got into nyp... not like him got to travel until sp...diaoz....it is realli a v long mrt trip.... haiz...
hmmm... just now someting happen.... someting i din expect... tink i'm losing control again... haiz... just now mich wanted to like pass the sweet to someone behind... but i just said no... hmmm... i wonder why... it just come to me...no... i dun wana let them have it...is the insecurity getting to me? i dunno...
hmmm... the class bbq will be on sunday..so will be going down onli after the service for the home...oh well.. me going to do my chopstick tingy laioz... like abit not enuff to say... how.... haiz....
now in sem pro room.... tinking alot of stuff...tmr got the mt e tingy...hmmm... but jon like sick lehz... hey must rest well and get well ah...
blogged at 7:27 PM
well... yesterday was too much in shock and all to even move myself to on the com and blog or to tok to anyone... i cant believe it has happened...is tis a test? if it is, pls let tis be the last one.... dun tink i can take it anymore... i really cant... i feel so tired..i have already been ripped into so many pieces.... i tot i will feel pain no more... but the blood donation proved otherwise.. i can feel pain.. reali very tired... i dun wan to be bothered with any other matters... will i be able to see the nite tmr? i duno... i feel so sick n tired...all the energy has been zapped out of me.... i need to get away... away from it all... but will i be able to do it? i need someone with me... but when i turn around, i see no one... i see just a wall... is the wall built by me or by the others around me? i duno...the wall is simply so thick, i cant see or hear wat is happening on the other side.... a glamorous party may be going on but all i have on my side is the dead silence of solitude...i cant even hear myself crying...
*quote of the day: i need u... more than ever... but where r u?how are u now?i wana noe...*
blogged at 12:30 PM
Monday, March 29, 2004
well... gonna miss feng shen bang again...now in the sp room.. but well... watever lorz... just abit sad tat today got alot of ppl here...and i cant blast music...sianz...
no more QC lect liaoz.... albert seems abit happy to end the class....all the non core exams are coming... sianz...no mood to study... dun understand anyting from this 2 modules... i tink for bioprocess just keep throwing words like contamination, sterile, will get marks liaoz..haiz... THE MORE I SEE THE NOTES,THE MORE I WANA GET AWAY FROM IT ALL.. BUT HOW CAN I AFTER SO MANY $ AND TIME HAS BEEN INPUT IN...
made the appointment to go mt e for tat mental tingy liaoz...it will be on monday at 1 pm... its also april fool's day... haiz... today got back alot of results... abit cannot tahan...u noe when i made the call to the mt e, i give tat woman on the line make until i wana scream,cos she kept on asking... trying to pry the cover off me and open to her... NO WAY... not without seeing ur face..
dunno lahz... i now abit dun really wana go for the the analysis, cos i afraid of the outcome...but.. Jon will be going with me on tat day too...jon, if i do someting lame or stupid on tat day dun blame me okie....
realised tat i now very unsecure.. afraid of not being able to blend in.... afraid of being left out....nv reali been afraid of such stuff b4...wat is happening...
just now felt the pangs of chest pain again...nearly was grasping for breath..haiz... tink i must realise cut down on deep fried and carbonated drinks... haiz... when was the last time i drank coke light with lemon? heez...
here are my results:
maths: D
bioprocess: B
fluid : B
Thermo: D
see? haiz.. sianz... cant believe it.. i tot my maths will be abt B.. din expect the basic probability to pull me down so much... sianz.... wat am i supposed to do.. thermo is like... WT"another english word in the dictionary" D lehz... sianz...how can... haiz... i told myself no more D... but wat m i getting?haiz...
*quote of the day: let me noe if i not welcomed.. i will choose to leave in the most gracious way..mayb the world does not need me... maybe it was all wishful thinking on my part..*
blogged at 7:38 PM
Saturday, March 27, 2004
yesterday went back to the blood donation drive, the doc say my one is bruise...then the nurses there all like kinda concerned... well... saw john there... then i tink tat ger is the CSC club pres, she came to me and ask if i m the younger sister of her fren..... ????? haiyo... haiz... but she remember me as one of the late donors of thursday... so not so bad...
then they gave me some cream and then asked me to apply... the doc say tat the bruise will go off within few days to 1 week...haiz...then i was so freaking late for the adventis visit... then cos on my way down to boon lay i got noting to do, so just apply the ting lorz... v pain lahz... but at least the blue black san alot... then later at the plant there, i pushed the door using my left hand and the bruise came back again... haiz.... anywa during e train ride i also called chris... well... dun tok abt it liaoz.... FREAKING DISAPPOINTED...
the plant visit was quite okie lahz... but abit everywhere metal.... hahaz....oh yah... zheng wen is the vp of the ISPE now.... diaoz....
then after tat i went to meet daniel and owyong heng... well.... then after tat we went to my hse downstairs the coffee shop and tokked till abt 2 am... hahaz... was string at this fair guy wearing black cap all teh time... he also stared at me... he looks quite familiar but cant remember where i last saw him... then we started talking abt ghosts and tekong.... tat fella realli tempt me lehz.... cos gerz got alot more better benefits then compared to guys.... shld i just sign on? i duno... haiz... just now mum just told me the worst news.... dad has told her tat he will ot be able to support the family on his own.... so mum has to also go find work... but mum so long nv work liaoz, will she be able to make it? i wonder.... anyway the ones above, pls let me study fin then go attachment can? pls pls.... cos need to work my school fees out first... then will be able to pay.... haiz.... they say $ is not everyting, but it also has its importance.... haiz....must try to cut down on everyting laioz.... :(
blogged at 10:32 AM
Friday, March 26, 2004
sianz... woke up today, feeling darn tired... finished 3 chinese love stories...hahaz... now wana get into the story and feeling why cant life be like wat they write in the books? sianz... alot of tings have happened...haiz...now everyone like so awkward... or is it just me? i dunno... well...living like a zombie now...the onli ting on my mind now is i need cash... holiday must work...if not my school fees will become a problem laioz... sianz... i just visited mt e website... hahaz... suddenly wan to go for the session asap... hahz... abit siaoz liaoz... mayb i really need help... haiz... well, got to go prepare laioz... cos later got the plant visit... got to help mum do her email account... well... gtg... take care...
blogged at 11:22 AM
Thursday, March 25, 2004
now the needle there blue black liaoz... haiz...anyway, still pain lahz... haiz..... sianz...
oh ya, today sylvia n mich went for the mental analysis tingy... jon say eh wanted to go... hmmm... i anyting lahz... i tink i already know wat the fella will say, so i tink it makes no diff ba....
teary's analysis on ReGiNa:
She is a ger who thinks simply but has alot of voices in her head, one who is with multiple personalities, on the verge of breaking down due to many external elements. always gives the impression that she doesnt care but actually she is just observing and she does care... but will have other voices telling her tat she shld just move on, bcoz it doesnt concern her... yet another voice will tell her she shld know bcoz it will affect her..she has nv been herself, the times when she is herself are the times when u see her laughing and n be bothered by wat u r saying... absolutely in a world of her own... that is when she is herself..sometimes she is angelic, other times, she is just plain devilish, with a past which she doesn't wan to have or face anymore, she is one who is able to give advice, yet can do none of wat she sdvices, willing to lend a listening ear, will at times sympathize but at other times feel tat suffering is created by the person invoved... hopes tat everyone can be free frm suffering, as in just forgive and forget, but other times, she simply can onli forget but not forgive,or vice versa... she is overall suffering from the following systopms :
think too simply, but having too many voices in her head, causing her to have too many personalities. does not have her own identitiy and assumes one whenever she sees one. cries when there is no one... to destress, but later feels stupid...to have wasted the tears..
dunno wat else to say laioz.... hahaz... let me know if u tink is correct... well in the mean time, until i go see the person i cant say anyting...
*quote of the day: do as u deem fit.wat u treat me as is wat u get.wat m i to u?i dun tink u even noe...*
blogged at 11:09 PM
today i was not so late for QC, at least i came b4 his break... hahaz... but still late wat.. haiz...
today went to donate blood.. guess who i saw? Qing Hua...froggie... haha... he's also in nyp... he changed so much sia... from the little boy to... now, a vey good looking guy... haha... he aLso grow taller by alot...actually he n fulin in engineering infomatics... hahaz... he says his class not going back for homecoming... diaoz...
anyway i went for the donation with jordan...WAITED FOR 3 hrs b4 i can actually donate blood... haiz... the nurse kept on asking me if i was okie... bcoz my hand and all v cold... haiz... bcoz i nv eat mahz...then the guy quite good gimme blankie.. hahaz... anyway i was like known there as the left hand then can onli n vessel very small... haiz... in the end i sat there for quite sometime b4 someone came over... the doc also dun dare to touch me... in the end tis nurse came...she was like u sure u wan to donate blood... actualli i wanted to chicken out... but.... haiz...i still donated one big bag... is it my imagination or mine was bigger? then now the wound there is like darn pain and the stupid plaster dun wan to stick...haiz...when i finish donate blood, the nurse was like so scared i will faint... i tink i must have looked pale or someting,cos alot of them all staring at me... haiz...
after the blood donation i went back home onli to get a scolding frm mum.... haiz...okie here's why :
early on in the day during QC,i called her n said i m going home for lunch... then she cooked at abt 11 plus... then cos blood donation long queue, so very long then i NV sms or call her... when i reach honme she was like screaming her head off at me, say come home late also nv tell her... so late then come back,she could have off the rice cooker and then save alot of electricity, so may hours... (anyway i reached bhome onli abt 5 plus..) yes. it is abt 5-6 hrs of elecricity... then she began nagging abt dad not working and blah blah blah... then i went like the blood donation long queue mahz... then she was like u go donate blood again... -_-||| haiz, did i ever tell u abt wat ahppen? why my mum si so aganist blood donation, cos he say my body is weak,and then she say i foolishly go donate blood, then the hospital charges so high for blood transfusion, like tat time duno which uncle went in then just took 1 bag of blood n had to pay $500 for the charges... haiz.... wat can i say? felt like telling her tat, blood cannot be made artifically and when u donate blood, new "clean" blood will be generated... but... haiz... the pain in the arm and my weakness made me feel like i dun wana talk... tis few days always like tis... u say all u wan lorz.... i will just keep quiet... haiz... if tis goes on, i tink i will become a introvert...extreme introvert... haiz... wat can i say? haiz... oh well, got song class liaoz.... my hand v pain lehz.... how? haiz...just now when i went to TFTA, the blood bank ppl all go off liaoz.... haiz...how?
tmr got the plant visit... hope to see someting new... hahaz...
oh ya, just now sylvia tell me can call chris for results, but he not ard lehz... how? haiz.... i alos not very willing to know.... but... haiz... will call him tmr ba.... okie, me got to go for song class liaoz.... bye.. BLOGGIE , sometimes i hope u were a human, but i m afraid of u having the traits of a human... being human is so difficult and awful, and life sucks... haiz...
blogged at 6:26 PM
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
well, just finished swimming, ate at gecko also... heez.. now in sem pro room, well... feeling tired...well... going to slp laioz... i yesterday slp like nearly 12 hrs... yet.... just now doze off at maths, then now more sleepy after the swim...
anyway, i dunno wat is happening ard me but since no one wans to say anyting, n i dunno most of wat is happening, i shld just shut up... heez... just like the BEP song, shut up just shut up shut up.. :D
now all i wish for is peace ba... i noe tat u guys have been giving me tat... n i thank u guys for tat..
let bygones be bygones, cos when a day passes, no one can turn back time.... :D
my fren told me, if u dun wish to wear a mask, u will have to be alone... guess tat is the best bet ba... noting more to say liaoz... take care ppl... :D
blogged at 6:23 PM
haiz... just did some blog reading... feeling kinda stupid... why in the first place must have someting called blogger... yes, it might have made some ppl say wat they dun dare to say right in my face but... PPL I WILL APPRECIATE IT IF U JUST TELL ME IF I HAVE DONE SOMETING WRONG INSTEAD OF LATER DROPPING HINTS AT UR BLOG THEN ITS THE GUESSING GAME..if guess correctly then its like save us all the trouble of a face to face confrontation... but if guess wrong, then it's like misunderstanding...then alot of problems arise..come on lahz... blogs r not 4 u guys to drop hints...haiz...okie... mayb it is..i dunno..mayb different ppl tink differently ba..wat i can say is onli wat i feel...wat u all feel i will not noe... no one says u have to type the ruth on the blog, wat u type might b just to comfort, console or to white lie, so tat mayb the person will feel better or worse, it all depends on wat the motive is...
haiz.... mayb i should stop blogging n go back to my "write on paper n tear away"... at least no one will see the stuff...tell me lahz... wat shld i do...
i feel so negative against so many ppl, so many tings..... haiz... they say the only way to live happily is to
1. face the problem
2. accept the problem
3. overcome the problem
4. forget the problem
isit true? haiz... the 1st phase is the most difficult one... facing the prob... many a times, we simply accept b4 we face the prob... then we feel as if it is caused by others or the enviroment... but when sometimes we play a part in the problem making too... we can be the most crucial factor in the problem..but who wans to blame thenselves, esp if the problem is a big one?
well... late for sch liaoz... again... feel so sianz.. when i need to go sch...haiz... wat to do... still got to go...sianz...dun wish to wear a mask so the best mask is to wear no mask..just be myself...i m sure i can...just like tat lorz... just be myself... the real me...
zheng wen: i will not forget tat u kicked my back...it hurts now... the next time u disturb me, i will ensure tat action is taken... if the need arises i will do wat i did in the past, carry a penknife with me...disturb me n i will show u how well i can handle a penknife....
blogged at 10:06 AM
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
just finish qc lab... just now basically i nv do much... mostly is k guy do de... heez.. credits to him... kevin alos kinda cham... must wait for me to finish packing... haiz... later must pass teh stamps to so can send the schedule... now thinking if i shld go yishun... well... dunno lehz... wana watch feng shen bang... alot of esp nv watch laizo... missing nezha...
well... mayb going home soon... get mum to pass the stamps ba...
oh ya... just now i heard someone say tat noe how to cook do hsework de gerz r dumb.... diaoz... wat isit abt gerz who can cook n do hsework? but nowadays, is the guys who r taking over the kitchen... hahaz...
received comments tat energy is for 13, 14, 15 yr old gerz.... *sobz* *sobz* kunda is so good looking... hahaz.. he cute mahz...
oh well... now still wondering wat to do for Qc report... cos tat one i hafnt touch at all...onli koped a 3 page tingy on FTIR i tink.... hahaz... mayb i shld do tat...any idea on wat i can do?haiz...
oh yah... finally handed in the sem pro laioz... haha...
today saw jordan... he's staying alone now... oh well, why must the mistake of the past generation affect the next generation, but cheer up boy, cos the sun will appear after the storm....
well.. feeling kinda sianz... haiz... dunno lehz... i like hafnt really noe wat i wan...hmmm... but one ting for sure... i wan a simple and relaxed life... hahaz... lazy me... but tat's the way i m... oopsz... hahaz..
blogged at 6:09 PM
Monday, March 22, 2004
heez.. just had dinner... was tis very plain gan he..hahaz.. just now went for walking n running liaoz... now v stink n sweaty.. anyway, now must try to finish sem pro... haiz...
just now went to the stadium tat time, quekie was invigailating e nafa test.. oh well... he was like siam ing us... diaoz... got so frightening mehz? haha..
anyway, discover my meomery tis few days very bad... like just now the thermo quiz... i cant remember a ting... then started crapping... haha... but i noe i did alot of mistakes... then just now sylvia tell me how much i was to collect from mich, i also forgot... haiz.... zhen de shi... LAO LE.. :( just now i drank the aloe vera apple juice...well... long time din drink it, suddenly found it to b sweet... haiyo... then mich drank tis soya milk...then she said too much soya milk no good..cos...will cause... hahaz... but too much of anyting is no good... anyway, too much of the bean stuff will let u have gu chi... like soft bone growing... is v pain de... :(
oh well... i just discovered tat i hafnt send anyone of them the bioprocess freeze drying experiment... just now alan sms me get it... haiz...sorry... haiz... i also forgot abt tat and the fluid lab... arghhh....
anyway, today everyone was up to some secret or someting like tat... then there was tis ting tat jon said abt sylvia... haha.. then she got so worked up... and she JABBED ME IN THE WAIST...argh.... yes... i screamed and we started fighting... haha... got alot of looks from everyone in the LT... haiz... then finally mich told her... but she din believe.... haiz... humanity is reali hard to please...
oh well, got to go back to sem pro laioz... if not i will nv finish it... haiz... will try to updfate again later at home... hoping to go home early later.... heez...
anyway there is tis ger who turned off my radio just now cos seh say it is too loud..me onli response: ..................................................................................................
oh yeah.... i yesterday saw a link n i stupidly clicked on it... hoping to see someting good... but i was wrong... haiz... now my heart feels as if it has been pricked by a thousand needles... tink i m beginning to feel numb and feel like my hearty is dead... even though it is still jumping... but it is not jumping for joy... but to grief over a definite loss... i noe it is not meant for me... but i still wan it... like a kid throwing tantrums for his toy.. but tis is not a toy which can be bough and picked off the shelves at any shop... haiz.. tink i need to slp a long long time to recover... but will i be able to recover? i wonder...
ever heard of the story of the boy n his nails...it goes sth like tis... once there was tis bad tempered boy... then the daddy made him hammer a nail in the fence, and he could remove a nail if he din throw his temper... 1 day passed, he saw tat the fence was full of nails... so he made an effort to not throw his temper...then days passed,finally he was able to remove all the nails... but there is still the hole left behind by the nail... moral of the story?
NEVER HURT SOMEONE, IT LEAVES A SCAR ON THEM..
it left a deep one on me... really...i need someone to heal me... :"(
blogged at 8:07 PM
Sunday, March 21, 2004
welll... was not online for the past weekend... hahaz... but anyway... i sat went to him fren... haha... then at first is wan to go to orchard wan... but in the end cos need to ah ma hse for clas... so i suggested going to toa payoh... heez... no one suspected anyting... diaoz... haa.. oops.... anyway toa payoh like changed quite abit.... there was tis dance works tingy when i was there... saw tons of kids dancing... haha... the last one from tis com which i recall is called dance works... tehy were real good... solid mahz... real hip hop... like b boy n gerz... haha...
anyway, now to speak more abt the class... i tink i reali need to blog tis out of me mayb i will feel beta..
ACTUALI I DUNO HOW TO TEACH..COS I M NOT V SURE OF HOW TO CHANT TOO.. haiz... really.. pris... find a sat nite dun work n u teach? i tink i need a break.. haiz... but i noe tat u r working... so nvm.. haiz...
yes, i can hear the errors... but...haiz... so i suggested to record the chanting and let everyone listen to it... so it becomes liek the recorder and their own ears and heart is their teacher... but... everyone was so used to talking during tat little little breaks.. tat... when i was reversing the tape, everyone just talked among their own grps...haiz... then when i asked everyone do u tink it is a beta idea... evryone said yes... but...haiz... i tink i m so much of a failure.. i noe i m the type where i c someone beta than me i will just lose confidence and start to perform much much lower than wat i m capable of... haiz... how lahz?
today went to cherry nursing home... as usual.. went ard feeding the patients and all... then got tis ah ma say i today look different... and thanked me for talking to them.. somtimes i wonder how will i b when i become old? i dun wana b like them... haiz... then the nurses there kena chided by the betty n melvin again... oh well.. can see they all really over worked... oh well... hmm... the one i m most sister with is like" i wan to go back... but..." haiz... but they recently sent back some ppl and employed new ppl... the new ppl all like quiet quiet and just work work... haiz... they sent back two of the ones i was quite pally with... haiz... its like the day b4 they were to be sent back just tell them " i m sending u back.. "like tat also can? haiz... nv give ppl soem time to get ready... haiz... foregin labour... singaporeans... treat them with some respect... the nurse whose brother is a national swimmer in her country... at first she is so chio de, now is like she shag until like suddenly become old.... haiz... if u see the way tehy work n stuff...u will also feel they v cham... n we r very lucky... the two fella there... just scold n scold... haiz...
after the service, we went to eat... then later i went to amk library with my cousin... nearly forgot abt the thermo quiz... then later saw tat stupid paper tat quekie gave during the exam.. haiz... really no mood to study... but anyway, thanks to mich who sms me to remind me... her sms came 3 min after i saw the paper... haha...
anyway, the wu tou dong gong fin liaoz... haiz... finally...hahaz... but i like the ending... ling yun nv die... yeahz...
KINDNESS BEGETS KINDESS --> moral of the drama... hahz... i do believe in tat.... cos.. i have experienced it b4... yupz... okie... me v tired... was runniong abt teh home n all today... going slp laizo... like no one online anyway... haha...oh ya... got zong yi da ge da... hmmm.... i wan to watch kang kang!!!! he is darn humourous lehz.... anyway ppl do u noe tat he got tis reali NICE SONG? it's called YUAN MENG... hahaz... anyone who wans tis mp3 can get it frm me... be most glad to promo tis song.. anyone can help me get the lyrics? heez...
blogged at 10:56 PM
Saturday, March 20, 2004
okie... first tings first... must thank my brother alot... for acompanying me thru the nite... he came at 2 am..haha... do u believe it... i din slp the whole nite... again... haiz... but anyway... tat was a record breaking... breakfast at 8 in the mrg... haha... and it was a treat by him... haha...i nv wake up sao early and eat so early b4...its just so weird and abnormal.. nearly can't down any food... but ppl treat ah... so bo pianz... haha...
so bcoz of tis.... i was early for the lab today... hovering ard the sch like some ghost... doing noting... just walking ard... sianz... discovered tat i m actualli kinda afraid to be alone... where i noe no one... haiz...
haiz... dunno lah... but sometimes i wonder will tings be beter if i m not there or ard... haiz...really lorz... sometimes i tink mayb i shld just be the silent and not be there character... haiz...
i m trying to finish my sem pro... haiz... but... still kinda far i tink.. haiz... nvm... me going back to it laioz... :( there's still the biz man ppt and QC project....
hey...jon... i tink the show is on suday ch u at 9.30.... if i not wrong...
blogged at 1:24 AM
Friday, March 19, 2004
okie... i noe it's late... but i tink i really need to at least get tis off me... before i start, i saw william chua...oops... shld be he saw me... he wear tat uniform i tink shld b air force de ba... cos kelvin wears a similar one too... not sure lahz... haha.. he still is as black... nv change sia... :X he is i tink darker than yongqiang... try beating tat? heez...
okie... now the e mega fed up part... there is so much farking pain n misery in the house now? m i the cause of all tis... mayb yes mayb no.... how on earth will i noe.... anyway i have decided to stay out for a longer time liaoz....in case i come home n see war... its so farking stupid and sianz to hear ppl quarrel u noe.... it simply pisses me off full stop
tink i will start to rot always in sem pro room laioz.... at least no one will bother me there....
pls dun make me so sick of the world and all tat it brings to me.... i dunno wat i will do.... i really duno...cont wat happen tmr... feel like sleeping laizo...
blogged at 12:14 AM
Thursday, March 18, 2004
my business mandarin got c lehz.. 66 marks... haiz.. abit jialat lehz.. haiz... but i also nv study much so can complain wat? haiz.. oh well... there is still the e quiz... discover that my cheena actuali also nv good until where... or is drop until dunno wat liaoz? haiz... still got tat presentation.. oh well... later will go amk library then look for a chinese book n decide to crap ba... no choice laioz....if do debate, i scared i cannot make it.. cos i will get all cranky... no point i affect the other person rite? haiz... hai zi ji jiu hao le...dun hai others...
oh ya... there is tis career talk at sp... have told mich i will be going for it... but discover tat it is on wed... oh well have to forgo fluid lect... haiz.. clarence also going for the talk... he just noe abt it... haha..anyway, will get him to bring me ard... hmmm... who else going lehz?let me know k... heez..
just now chris ask me why maths so bad,haiz..he say my basic probability cannot ah... haiz... i onli noe how to do the read graph,the normal distribution de lehz..haiz...how... then i discover after common test i am facing the same problems again..yup..its the after test all info emptied stage... haiz...wat can i do sia...got any specific name for such a sickness... haiz...any way chris say next week can get back results... i now expecting mayb d liaoz...haiz...
anyway my choices for the electives ahve been done... they are as follows...
1.Petrochemical Processes
2.Pharmaceutical Processes
3.Good Manufacturing Practice
4.Biopharmaceutical Technology
5.Rotating Equipment Engineering
wat are u all de options? hope everyone can get wat they wan... oh well.. for me... i tink after my grad most impt ting is to get a job... any job..need to get my familiy thru tis... then i can just go off liaoz...who noes mayb my whole family will be out of tis country...mayb onli my bro n sis will be in singapore ba... haha..
cuijie , do infor me abt the blood donation tingy ah...jia you!
sylvia , thanks for waking me again today... haha.. oops...seems like a daily chore for u liaoz.... :X
anna, hope u have a good time at K box today... seems like a real good promotion...
mich, ur contacts seem to be working fine...if u wan solution can get frm me...mine's from tat time de... mayb might need to check expiry dat first... haha.. i check then let u noe hao le..but the complete de solution is good.. u might wan to use tat too.. :D
jon, i reali tink u tear some muscle or someting like tat... beter go c a doc... sports injury is not to be taken lightly.. i dun tink it is good tat once press ur arm, u will scream... kinda funny... i tink ch u gonna air some show on sports injury... its hosted by tat DJ wenhong.. i tink its aired over the weekend... u might wan to check it out... i tink its the pa pa mai zua zua yao...
mr quek: thanks for letting me crash ur class today...heez...
okie... its 3 plus now... me have to do do sem pro liaoz.... haiz... later then see if got anyting to blog okie... :) then i will add on to tis entry... heez...
blogged at 3:19 PM
i finally like can get used abit to the heels liaoz... but still kinda awkward lorz... haiz... nvm i can do it de...tried to con someone into wearing them... heez... reminded of the funny stuff we used to do in sec sch liaoz.... cross dresser alert... haha...i really miss u guys lehz..all the funny stuff tat we do too... i tink i have been trying to find the same feeling in poly... but it is just different..haiz..i can find a guy do exactly the same ting... but the feel is simply not there.... haiz... wat is happening to me?
i have decided to just copy and paste all i can find into word doc then tmr i will again go into sem pro room and then start to just edit and edit.... well... i tink now i can onli just slack... really lehz... the more i study the more sianz it gets... also time nv seems to be enuff for me... haiz.... i tink mayb is i too slow or got poor time management ba... tmr i will try to finish sem pro.... sometimes i wonder how long can i repeat tis to myself... " i will finish sem pro tmr." haiz...
there's still the qc report lehz...wat's more i have not even decided wat i wan to do for the qc report.... oh well.. sianz.... and there's the selection of electives to stress abt.... i've already been trying to make myself v happy liaoz... but.... haiz..sianz... i just get more n more sad everyday... even if there is happiness there is onli tis short period..
haiz... when can i be happy again? when will i be able to smile from the heart?i really wana noe...
mich, let me noe how is the contact going on...
sylvia, it's a really good idea of the scrapbook tat u have made... hmmm considering one too... but i dun tink i will make the effort...so mayb will just make a folder in my com ba... heez...
cuijie, u seem to be getting all geared up for ur club again... heez.. hope tis time the school will be more cooperative ba...
anna, next time go sakae dun eat until so full liaoz... esp when taking waist measurement :P
jon, just read ur blog, alot of tings can happen in just an minute, mayb dragonboat is having a rough time now, but the storm will be over n the sun will shine, so dun worry..anyway remember tat time during the holiday u said someting abt the sponser of the windbreaker or someting like tat rite?goes to show tat the sch does put alot of emphasis on dragon boat.. so not to worry...anyway the new batch will be coming in in abt 4 mths time? can recuirt new members de mahz... :D
wilmer, when reach sample size of 30 then we can start to do teh maths project laioz... heez... no worries... we can make it de... cos ur excel good mahz... haha.. :X
blogged at 1:24 AM
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
nv blog yest..was busy d/l songs and watching tv...heez..sorry... will blog it now okie... :D been trying to get everyone's waist line and length of legs..ir's for the maths project...then suddenly i realised i dun really dare to measure the waist of ppl... haha..so i just pass them the tape and ask them to measure themselves...haha.. oh well..later still have to get more ppl to let me measure... must be more courageous... heez....
oh well... wear the heels today... but i tink hor...on friday i will be ending up walking barefooted..... haha..
oops...its 5 liaoz.... anyway...just now have been reading straits times and new paper online... recently discovered tat i actually preferred to read the papers online rather than in print.... haiz... lazy me...
oh well... i tink i will do my report tonight.... haiz... day after day i simply drag it.... how to finish.... haiz... oh well... in the mean time just relax ba... :P
blogged at 5:04 PM
Monday, March 15, 2004
i saw RED SHIRT just now.... he was waiting for someone at audi there... he looks so much fatter now....oops.... haha.... the face is round liaoz.... haha... he using the ringtone yu jian.... heez... apparently waiting for ger... as his fren teased him.... haiz...
well...me go watch westside laizo.... heez...maybe later will edit tis entry again... :P
blogged at 11:07 PM
haha..helo..ppl.. well..i did say tat i will b finish my sem pro at the lab rite... well... i
dun tink it is going to be a success..u noe wat.. all i have been doing is to just surf net n all... n i tink mayb
abortion too grosteque liaoz.... so nyp put it on forbidden list....diaoz...haiz... tink i will go home then do ba.... haiz... at least i cleared my mail n all laioz... haha..later must remind myself to get a copy of newspapers... looking out for
energy news... *sobz*
well... today linda toh came back to lecture thermo... well... comparing her to quek.... haiz...but her baby was cute... hahaz..well... i tink thermo die laioz.... haiz... going to have another quiz soon... see how ba...
haiz... recently getting more n more oblivious to everyting tat is happening around me...haiz..i just feel so numb...so sick n tired... really.. oh well.. life just goes on...time still goes by..regardless of whether i m happy or not ritez? so... just live with it...
just found out tat sem pro onli need to do 5 pages minimum lehz.... haiyo...i tot need to do how much.... now i m still at the stage of planning wat to write in for the project...i plan to just cover types of abortions,why they are carried out and... mayb some views on abortions... and of cos
THE PICS OF ABORTION n of cos cheers to mich who send me tis abortion email... haha... was looking for it... well.. hope not to puke later... must label on my report n remind quek not to read after his meal.... heez....
well... going home liaoz...see ya.... i will really try to finish sem pro later....
TRY= no promises...
blogged at 9:11 PM
Sunday, March 14, 2004
What attracts people to you? brought to you by Quizilla
You are the forest. You are a quiet, clam, kindda
laid back person. You are a day dreamer and are
depretly in love. You don't have many friends
but you get along with people.
What scene in nature are you? awesome pics brought to you by Quizilla
Fire. You like heat, the smell of smoke, and most
of all, seeing things burn! You are evil on
purpose.
What evil-ish element are you? brought to you by Quizilla
You are a Silent Demon. You are the demon in the
shadows. If you kill, you do it without mercy.
You have no emotions whatsoever. You cant even
enjoy the suffering of others. In a nutshell,
you are there just to kill and nothing more.
You are somewhat of a child too. Once you are
turned to kill people... you do it on an basis
on who is the weakest.
What Kind of Different Demon are you...? (anime-ish pics) brought to you by Quizilla
You are a Gray Wolf! You are a happy go lucky wolf!
you are about a dimwited as a pup but are still
well loved. You are a wimp. You are not fast or
strong buy you try as HARD AS YOU CAN!!!! You
are kind and understanding.
What Type Of Wolf R U ??? brought to you by Quizilla
blogged at 11:42 PM
now very no faith n confidence in myself... haiz... friday sleep whole day cos friday nite was up all nite to settle all the loose ends...well... now my biological clock very messed up... haiz... i woke up at 5 today... duno for wat...today went to the old age home, got one ah ma say me n mum dun look alike... she say mum got the smiling face... i look very fierce and sad... well.... guess wat... i tink she is right!
well.... on saturday i had my try of teaching everyone who were present... not the one to one i can slowly teach u n softly de..discovered tat i m not loud... basically i dunno how to teach ah... haiz... how? haiz... somemore tis week is not alot of ppl de... haiz... how m i going to succeed? haiz... how?
tmr will be staying in sch to COMPLETE sem pro... just discover tat i got alot of reports n everyting not done yet... haiz... WAT A MESSED UP LIFE...
ONE BIG FAILURE... YUPZ... TAT IS WAT I M...
blogged at 10:46 PM
Friday, March 12, 2004
finally all common test over laioz... oh well... yesterday was energy performing at NYP AUDI... but... i dun have tix... haiz...each time i walked past my heart ache sia... haiz... b4 i take the last paper bioprocess, i saw audi got ppl queue liaoz... ah... *ache* *pain* oh well...
Then "celebrated cuijie birthday... splashed water on her... then went to breeks... haha...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUIJIE... TURNED 20 LIAOZ... STAY HAPPY!
me now going over to fren hse liaoz... hahaha... enjoying it while i can... diaoz...
THE MORE I STUDY THE MORE I HATE TO STUDY...
blogged at 10:08 PM
Monday, March 08, 2004
to: someone
well, she may b gone..but,u still have us.. we will be with u..dun give up..always remember u have us..we r all there for u..my dear brother, dun let her see u down..
blogged at 1:59 PM
Friday, March 05, 2004
my tagboard suddenly disappeared!!!! wat happen... :(
blogged at 11:05 PM
well.. jon dun b blur..it's just tat sylvia has sat thru a conversation btw me n my sec sch fren..so she says she noe where i get the attitude from..heez...i also dun understand y..mayb ask her again?haha..anyway why ah..i dun find anyting wrong wif e way i speak.. :b
sianz... well.. tmr will be going over to my grandma place...another day gone... haha..anyway, i wana see how much i can get withour studying....and just relaxing... haha... me going bonkers...
blogged at 11:04 PM
hmmm... yesterday went to meet huiyi at amk.. daniel too... well..haha...wat can i say...suddenly was so relaxed when i saw daniel... was like i finally can relax completely... i tink i really miss all the sec sch frenz... haiz... guys... where r u all... looking forward to homecoming... i noe i can see u all on tat day... haha.. huiyi was with me when i was tokking to daniel.. hope i hafnt neglected her too much... was really enjoying the talk i had..then when daniel left to go for his driving lessons.. hmmm... was wondering over wat huiyi said to me... she said she knows where my attitiude come from laioz... haha... u hafnt seen worse.... got some is more jialat then daniel..well... i giving up on common test laioz... sianz... FUCKING EXAMS!well.. me off to watch tv laizo....
You are a normal angel. Innocent and pure. Full of
light and hope. You love to be around others,
and really know how to have a good time. You
enjoy hanging around with mortals. You like ti
sing, which you are great at, and like to have
others near you. People are naturally attracted
to your bubbly personaliy, and love to be
around you. Normal angels are always popular,
and have lots of fans. You are happy go lucky,
with an interesting out look on the world.
Though you have experienced pain, that is all
behind you now. You see the bright side to
things, and are always there to help a person
in need. You are quite pretty, with a childish
air, though you know more than others think.
You are a really friendly person. But can be a tad
selfish at times.
You are bright and full of energy.
Better get my shades!
What Type Of Angel Have You Become? brought to you by Quizilla
blogged at 10:35 PM
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
well... more n more no mood to study... so freaking sianz... well, today michelle fren... if not wrong i tink she is stella or ericia??? hmmm not sure though... heez.. she brought her laptop along...got alot of songs... guess wat? i ask her if she can burn for me she said yes... well just wondering how many discs i will need to pass to her sia... heez...
there was tis song let me die by nicholas xie... i remember how tis song used to be repeated at ntuc... cos idiot they all liked tis song... haha.. reminds me of some stuff though.... haiz...
getting down n down... more n more slack... haiz.... how... i scared but no motivation to study... sianz... well.... me go bathe liaoz... sianz...
Your an ice dragon! Congrats! Out of all the
dragons, you are most powerful but do not like
to show it. A rare and special creture, you
have artistic style and are great at expressing
yourself. You think friends and Familly are the
most important, and are a hopeless romantic.
But of course, as ice goes, you can be a little
cold or harsh at times. But not to worry, you
always apoligize later!
What elemental dragon are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Your a magical unicorn! As all unicorns go, magic
unicorns are amazing with enchantments and can
perform spells and all kind of crafts. Magic
Unicorns have horns that if drank from can cure
blindness, and give immortality. All magical
unicorns are very kind and heart-warming, but
can get tempermental if a spell goes wrong.
Magical Unicorns live in forests where they can
practise all there magic in secret. But, if a
human befreinds a magical unicorn, they have a
friend for life.
What kind of Unicorn are you? (With beautiful pictures) brought to you by Quizilla
You are the Goddess of Water. You are a very
loving, you show your emotions out in the open.
You are full of wisdom. Also dreamy... You
would rather be sleeping then awake. But are
still very happy. You are most inspiration to
the other Four Goddesses since without water
there wouldn't be life.
Other Water Goddesses: Aphrodite, Isis, Mariamne,
Mari, Tiamat, Yemaya, Ran, Kupala
Which of the Four Elemental Goddesses are you?(With Pics) brought to you by Quizilla
Your Method Of Suicide brought to you by Quizilla
blogged at 10:35 PM
Monday, March 01, 2004
http://www.idealpartner.org.uk/ipbi/WhatJob.asp
With a strong sense of responsibility for her family and close friends, Regina has a tendency to blame herself if anything should go wrong, even if it is clearly not her fault. She will work long and hard - perhaps too hard for her own good - and unless she is careful her life may lack the fun, humour and social activity that would force her to be more outward looking. This in turn makes her careful with money in the sense that she will apply funds only to those things that are of the utmost importance to her. She holds strong views from which she will not easily be moved.
Naturally self-disciplined, Regina will have assumed responsibility for other family members from an early age. She is naturally supportive of both the young and the old in her immediate family, and has a capacity for hard work, so there is a danger that her life may become a little too serious. Regina is suited to social work, charitable functions or the world of education.
With independence of mind, Regina may have seemed to be something of a loner in her early life. But as she matures that independent streak will lead her to positions in which others will rely upon her judgement and impartiality. Whatever skill she masters, whatever career she pursues, it should be one where her natural talent to command can be properly utilised.
Regina is a balanced individual who can understand and appreciate the views of others as well as her own. She can express herself fluently, and with persuasive conviction, whilst taking account of opposing views. This means that Regina will get on very well with colleagues at work, both senior and junior, as well as clients, customers, suppliers and external agencies.
Sensitive to criticism and naturally intuitive, Regina has a natural ability to detect insincerity in others. Because she is a sensitive soul, Regina can be a solid friend and a good listener. As a result, she will get on well with colleagues, whilst being more than capable of handling office politics.
With a creative mind and a good memory, Regina is honest, straightforward and optimistic. She will achieve her aims. She is capable of creative thought, and will appreciate art and music. She also enjoys an excellent memory - a significant advantage in any employment.
Well-balanced, with an understanding and compassionate nature, Regina is a natural leader who can inspire others. But she needs a certain amount of freedom at work and at home. With a compassionate and caring nature, and with the ability to get on well with others, Regina will be a strong member of any team and will provide solid inspiration and support to her colleagues.
Good with details and with a methodical approach, Regina nevertheless is someone who enjoys constant new challenges to maintain her interest. She is a methodical individual with attention to detail, but is inclined to leave tasks unfinished if her active mind alights on something of greater interest. Routine tasks that fail to challenge her intellect are at greatest risk, so Regina needs a job that offers variety.
Ambitious to improve her lot, Regina will constantly push forward to achieve something in her life, yet this ambition will be balanced by humanitarian ideals that will lead her to support causes that may demand self-sacrifice.
[The Arrow of the Planner: the numbers 1, 2 and 3] Although less interested in the detail, Regina is a well-organised individual who plans ahead. If she absorbs knowledge through study, she will achieve great success, quite possibly in an artistic field. The essence however of this combination is her desire to plan, and to organise herself to achieve her goals.
[The Arrow of Determination: the numbers 1, 5 and 9] Determined and persistent, Regina has the patience to wait until she has achieved her goal. She enjoys a progressive and enterpreneurial approach, and as such, will be an asset to any employer. If the number 4 (in the Western Grid) is missing, she will be inclined to lose her temper on occasions.
[The Arrow of Emotional Balance: the numbers 2, 5 and 8] Understanding and compassionate, Regina is well-balanced. She possesses sound leadership qualities that are of use in a wide variety of jobs. With an understanding and compassionate nature, Regina can appreciate the views of others, and thus gain the respect of the community in which she lives or works.
Regina will be reasonably successful in financial terms, and enjoy a degree of luck.
Emotionally well-balanced, Regina is not too intense, and will reach the right decisions. However, with the numbers 2 and 3 in the Chinese version, the balance may be upset.
In the absence (in the Chinese version) of the numbers 1 and 6, she will be good with money and details. She will be happier if the Chinese grid includes the numbers 5 and 7. Regina is intelligent, and prepared to learn. Without the numbers 3, 5 and 7 in the Chinese version, Regina is likely to use her head at the expense of her heart, which can lead her to become something of a workaholic.
[The Arrow of Willpower: The numbers 1, 5 and 9] Regina is somewhat stubborn and very determined. Holding strong opinions that she will voice without reservation, she will nevertheless reach her goals through persistent hard work.
[The Arrow of Apathy: Lacking the numbers 2, 6 and 7] Regina lacks the will to succeed. Somewhat indecisive, she will miss opportunities and avoid risk. Regina needs to recognise that life's chances must be grasped with both hands when the opportunity arises.
blogged at 12:53 AM
today been a pretty hectic day i should say, tis mrg went down to the home to find ni ni working...just tat she's doing nite shift... finally she say she will work till her contract finish instead of breaking the bond.. haiz... the management there horz.... really ah... today betty suddenly come and spot check... all the nurses at the home was so stunned... then there was also tis guy melvin... they both r in charge of the home... must say they earn alot sia....cheery always look UNDERpowered...at first when i walked in all the nurses were like happy and there was alot of contact... heez... guess he was rite... they really treat me like one of them... diaoz... i look like foreigner mahz? anyway, marlin commented on my ahir... she say now look better... but i told her tat black hair coming out laioz... not so nice lehz..haha... guess i going to cut my hair again..grow alot longer laioz... :( i even joked with them tat next time i will cut even shorter then will not be sister but brother... haha... thanda today was alwways mopping the floor... but then we got to move around and then we step until balck black then she got to mop again... sorry... i tink out of all of the nurese at there, she should be the wealthiest... befor she started working tat the home she went to tour indonesia and malaysia on her way down from burma...they got chided today cos when betty and melvin come they nv wear uniform,but come on lorz... they still got to push the old folks in and all... sure will amke until dirty de mahz... if ard afternoon wear not so jialt mahz... n i see the uniform material like not very comfortable... hmmm.... second time i go down and nini is working nite shift... haiz... hope to be able to see her next time i go down..then cos when somone was feeding one of the old folk water, she choked, then betty scolded say who is the one in charge of the paitent... does the voluntary scoiety ppl noe how to do it............... diaoz... she like so long come down once,tat old folk alwasy will choke on water de.... anyhow scold... haiyo... shela once see betty come quickly pull out the radio plug... actuali i tink shld leave it on... te old folks there hear no sound... noting... got music at least not so bad rite? anyway not loud also mahz....but betty also not happy...but sometimes the silence is very dead lehz... got music not so bad... haiz... wat to do.....place not mine ah... cannot say anyting... can see alot of them i tink once contrat end they will leave.... haiz... will miss them...shela cried today... after all of them came out from the room... marlin is the most jialat...kena scolded by betty in front of all of us...haiz... tat's not the way to show u can discipline ur guys... just bcoz u got potential new customer... haiz... they r alos human just like u... dun tink u will like it if i scolded u like tat too.... yah, they r takeing their salary frm u... but must spare a tot for them also mahz... haiz...
bought a pair of scandals at mad.... $23 plus... but now got 20% off... in the end pay $19.10.... not bad... worth it ba i guess... :P well me going slp laioz... tmr going swimming... actuali is play water... just needed to relax abit... haha....
jon, all my notes now abit messy... but i have asked sylvia to pass u her fluid tutorial.... sorry... just tat i simply poured out everyting out from my bag... so all messed up now... i not very organised horz... but.... haiz... :X
blogged at 12:39 AM
