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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said..no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever..and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry? and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face, the boy grabbed her arm and said... You're not pretty, you're beautiful, i dont want to be with you forever, i NEED to be with you forever, and i wouldnt cry if you walked away...i'd die...

Monday, November 29, 2004

最动听的10句爱情告白

一、《河东狮吼》
“从现在开始，你只许疼我一个人，要宠我，不能骗我，答应我的每一件事都要做到，对我讲得每一句话都要真心，不许欺负我，骂我，要相信我，别人欺负我，你 要在第一时间出来帮我，我开心了，你就要陪着我开心，我不开心了，你就要哄我开心，永远都要觉得我是最漂亮的，梦里也要见到我，在你的心里面只有我，就是 这样了。”

二、《我的野蛮女友》
第一、不要叫她温柔。
第二、不要让她喝三杯以上，否则她会逢人就打；
第三、在咖啡馆一定要喝咖啡、不要喝可乐或橙汁；
第四、如果她打你，一定要装得很痛，如果真的很痛，那要装得没事；
第五、在你们认识的第一百天，一定要去她班上送一支玫瑰，她会非常喜欢；
第六、你一定要学会击剑，打壁球；
第七、要随时做好蹲监狱的思想准备；
第八、如果她说她会杀了你，那不要当真，这样你会好受些；
第九、如果她的鞋穿着不舒服，一定要和她换鞋穿；
第十、她喜欢写东西，要好好地鼓励她。　　

三、《大话西游》
你应该这么做，我也应该死。曾经有一份真诚的爱情放在我面前，我没有珍惜，等我失去的时候我才后悔莫及，人世间最痛苦的事莫过于此。你的剑在我的咽喉上割 下去吧！不用再犹豫了！如果上天能够给我一个再来一次的机会，我会对那个女孩子说三个字：我爱你。如果非要在这份爱上加上一个期限，我希望是……一万年。

四、《堕落天使》
当你年轻时，以为什么都有答案，可是老了的时候，你可能又觉得其实人生并没有所谓的答案。每天你都有机会和很多人擦身而过，有些人可能会变成你的朋友 或者是知己所以我从来没有放弃任何跟人磨擦的机会。有时候搞得自己头破血流，管他呢！开心就行了。　　

五、《花样年华》
“如果，我多一张船票，你会不会跟我一起走？”

六、《东邪西毒》
多年之后，我有个绰号叫西毒，任何人都可以变得狠毒，只要你尝试过什么叫做嫉妒。我不介意其他人怎么看我，我只不过不想别人比我更开心。我以为有一些人永 远都不会嫉妒，因为他太骄傲。在我出道的时候，我认识了一个人，因为他喜欢在东边出没，所以很多年后，他有个绰号叫东邪。知不知道饮酒和饮水有什么区别？ 酒越饮越暖，水越喝越寒。 你越想忘记一个人时，其实你越会记得他。人的烦恼就是记性太好，如果可以把所有事都忘掉，以后每一日都是个新开始，你说多好。每个人都会经过这个阶段，见 到一座山，就想知道山后面是什么。我很想告诉他，可能翻过山后面，你会发现没什么特别。回望之下，可能会觉得这一边更好。每个人都会坚持自己的信念，在别 人看来，是浪费时间，她却觉得很重要。

七、《向左走，向右走》
生命中充满了巧合，两条平行线也会有相交的一天。

八、《红玫瑰与白玫瑰》
也许每一个男子全都有过这样的两个女人，至少两个。娶了红玫瑰，久而久之，红的变了墙上的一抹蚊子血，白的还是“床前明月光”；娶了白玫瑰，白的便是衣服上的一粒饭粘子，红的却是心口上的一颗朱砂痣。

九、《东方不败》
有人就有恩怨，有恩怨就有江湖。人就是江湖，你怎么退出？

十、《半生缘》
世均，我们再也回不去了……

blogged at 1:30 PM

haiz..

well..today..alot of tings happen..so many tings tt i duno where n when to start saying..today heavy rain...the heavy rain seem to be a sign....haiz...

conclusion is : watever u do, affects the others....in the end is the others who kena....haiz...

haiz...i'm just very disappointed in someone..watever la...i will still continue to work..i guess...cos i need the money wat..n i dun have job waiting for me..

sianz...me go slp le lahz...tmr still need to go market n do hse work...haiz..still must pack room..haiz..so many tings to do...onli 2 hands..n 2 legs...tired..i reali am..i need support, i need a shoulder..haiz..

blogged at 1:49 AM

Saturday, November 27, 2004

lost..

well, still sick..hahaz..got to noe tt liting's dad is also working at Jurong island worz..hahaz..kinda miss xinying now..hahaz..no one to crap le..sianz...seems like alot of ppl r overseas...kangwei is also away..alot of changes happen at workplace..well..duno lahz...ppl change v fast de mahz...hahaz..sometimes, the changes happen so fast, i cant adapt to it...anyway b working tis entire weekend..hahaz...lost 2 weekdays of pay le..so must ciong...cos mayb i not working during term time..mayb will concentrate on studying with xinying, (she suggested the idea of cionging for the last sem) & get my 2 B license along with my diploma..hahaz..but sometimes i wonder, i study so hard get good grades le so?also wun b able to get to uni de...the fees r so high, well, mayb i shld b contented with a diploma for the time being...well..watever..now deciding which day to register for the 2B hahaz...take one step at a time lorz...now my top priority in life? be happy..hahaz..

*just a ger who wans everyone to b happy*

blogged at 1:11 PM

Friday, November 26, 2004

still sick

tis stupid sickness is obviously enjoying its stay in me..haiz...

well..yest went to orchard with owyong n xinying..hahaz..tt lucky girl is now in taiwan...if onli i had such a break too..haiz..seriously need a break..or a very nice outing/date..hahaz..tried tis green top yest at level one..costed $14.90..well..they both agreed tt i looked good in it..hahaz..was tempted to buy it..but considering all the stuff tt i have bought recently, beta wait for my next pay day..hahaz..recently became an impulsive buyer..haiz..

showed owyong the fotos tt we took in jurong island...hahaz...well...onli me n xinying n him noe can le...hahaz...

well, 2 days of MC is used..my 2 days was spent quite meaningful i guess, instead of working, i was runnning everywhere...hahaz...but at least now i noe of a very nice place to chill,met up with some of my great frenz,passed somone sth,finally did sth to my hair,found a top tt reali looked nice on me..hahaz...mum was saying MC is for u to rest...not to run ard(pa pa zhao)..hahaz...but i simply dun like to just stay ard like a weakling mahz...the last feeling i wan now is to feel weak...
later got to go work le...sianz...oh ya...kenn had his last day yest...hahaz..heard from sylvia he was still looking for me..hahaz..guess wat tt ger told him? "she's under orders from her grandma not to work" -_- omg..but nvm, can meet him in nyp de...hahaz...

blogged at 1:42 PM

Thursday, November 25, 2004

results...

Yest went down to jemie's mum shop..well...was in a very big surprise..hahaz..din expect her charges to b tis low..hahaz...well..was in a rush too...judy n her fren emma, had time to come from sommerset to douby ghaunt...hahaz...in the end i met them at douby ghaunt...then we walked to sunshine plaza..well..nv been there b4..her fren was supposed to do some printing n mounting there...hahaz..the effect came out to be quite good...then judy's fren fren (angeline) came up with the idea of printing out photo n mounting it...hahaz...

mayb i will also go do sth like tis after i pack the room...hahaz...wana change the arrangement of tings...time to go tink of ideas...and make sure the room can b neat n tidy always..hahaz...

had mac for dinner, then went to sun cafe at sunshine plaza..was a very nice place to just chill n chat...hahaz...they sell dessert n the taiwan snow ice...hahaz..just eat the snow ice..the dessert ah...dun try the watever paste....hahaz...

then judy fren(emma) n her fren went off first, while me n judy were still hanging ard..we went to carrefour walk ard n then sat outside at the pasta mania side there to chat...until the cleaning lady told us it was time for PS to close..hahaz...when i asked judy if she noticed tt ppl from xms, dun reali have alot of confidence..haiz..then later discover tt after talking for the whole day...i had more or less like no voice....haiz....tt owyong..still make me shout...haiz...

shld i go for work today?haiz....if i dun go work, can go judy place to burn the disc n also meet up with owyong...hahaz...tat fella long time no c lehz...but tonight got meeting...haiz..wat shld i do?i feel like i'm drifting further n further away form all the religion stuff..hahaz..jialat..was not like tis b4 i went jurong island...haiz...

grandma's order: not to go for work 2day n 2 go 2 her place 4 dinner n lunch...hahaz..meeting at her place..hahaz...

I saw my results le...i got an A for my project...nv had such good grades...but i dun feel happy..instead it brings back meomeries from the past...meomeries tt i wana let go..i wan back my happiness..i wan to be the girl who will smile n laugh..but now there is no one to bring the smiles and remove my tears...hahaz..

yest sylvia called to say alot of tings happen at work..guess she will not be working for long le..then on my way back from douby ghaunt..i saw zhijia...mayb it is time to change job..hahaz...tony roma's here i come...hahaz..see how long motorola wan me...hahaz...

*meomeries taste best*

blogged at 9:44 AM

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

still sick

• buy the phone cover for judy
• cook pasta for owyong..(hahaz..from last year i owe him..)
• return didi his cd..get back my vcd
• burn SYZ album for mich
• burn SHE album for xy,mich
• pass someone sth..without seeing him..hahaz.

tis are my short term goals...hahaz..long term goals...

• to ensure tt every1 in e family is well provided for
• get my bike license
• backpacking..ensure places i like have my foot prints (Burma,taiwan,china,japan,korean)
• find wat i reali wan in life

well... just noe tt someone also taking TP today..all the best to him lorz..hahaz..

i have to agree with wilmer le...sometimes when u hold on for too long, it is beta to let go.. i'm trying..i will..hahaz... =)

* i wana b happy, i wana b free*

blogged at 10:21 AM

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

haiz..tired..

well...yest was a real sianz day...tis shift of motorola employee..haiz..cmi..yesterday i finally brought my hp to work..left it in my bag..but was worrying the whole day...cos my hp is too percious to me..got alot alot of tings inside...but it was off la..hahaz..he called at 17:07..after i got out, i called him at 23:07...he said he nv call...hate it when ppl deny tings.....wth..i'm reali tired...esp when i'm sick now...

its onli a very small item tt i need to pass to him...n it has been with me for so long..dun really wish to see him anymore..haiz..i'm afraid if i c him..cant keep my promise..i duno lahz..sylvia lahz..yesterday go c mayday...in the end i onli had meixuan n wenqing with me when i made the call to him...haiz..

then later wilmer sms me when he was at braddell..hahaz..he stop at YCK n we chatted..hahaz..he seems to have lost weight..haiz..he also suggested to teach my bro maths when i told him abt his maths..haiz...well..going over to my grandma place...she's cooking..hahaz.. yeah..with grandma's food...sure recover de...hahaz....

blogged at 10:33 AM

Monday, November 22, 2004

sick sick sick

still not feeling any beta...but then later will have to go work..cos today is pay day!!!!!!!!!! hahaz..i heard tat yesterday they did reshuffling of the line...haiz...duno later go work is do wat..

shiying just sms say friday going m'sia shop..well..i tink i need the break..tt is provided i recover by friday..hahaz...well..hafnt get pay n i'm tinking of how to spend money..

they say when 1 is sick, he or she is the weakest..suddenly, i feel tat tis is so true..yesterday slept for the whole day...was hoping for someone to contact me..hahaz...in the end yesterday onli tok for a long time with judy..haiz..hai shi ta zui hao..Judy, u r da best...i guess us going 2 diff poly din reali affect out telepathy...hahaz..she will always call or sms when i need someone...so coincidence..

I have decided on sth..i hope i can stick to my decision..dun wana feel useless,unwanted...i'm tired..dun wana try anymore...dun wana fight anymore..

tings meant to b mine will b mine.. if not meant to be mine....why force it?

to the ones above: let me be happy..let me be healthy..let me feel safe.. let me find wat i wan..let me noe how to let go..

blogged at 10:57 AM

Sunday, November 21, 2004

haiz..who is there 4 me..

well..i just woke up from a nap..yupz..i nv go work today...called the agent to tell her so...in my now husky like boy voice...had to repeat n repeat wat i wanted to say..even my mum mistook my voice for my brother's voice...haiz....

b4 calling the agent, i called sylvia..to ask her how did she go abt telling tt she is not working today...she went like wah...2 person not going....piangz...iu noe today is change shift for the motorola employee..will b new ppl in charge of us...But i reali cant take it le lahz...later 8 hrs of i dunno do wat....me sick wat...u r gonna get happy seeing ur idol worz....me? i'm sick...i need someone to be there for me...but i get the feeling tat tis job is making me drift further n further from everyone...i feel like calling someone 2 complain...but when i stare at my hp, i discover tt i dunno who to call..every1 is like busy...or i dun wana go disturb them....

watever lahz....just now b4 i went to slp asked ard abt the not enuff electrical points...managed to get clarence to help me le...hahaz...yeah...but he is not free..tis days..after dec i can copy disc le...hahaz...pass me the original n i can be the biggest pirate le...he say to get a splitter...at SLS..be buying CDRs too..hahaz.... =)

me going eat dinner le....haiz...today until now onli eat like bread n one packet of the campbell instant corn soup i bought when i went 2 c e sinseh with xinying...no appeitte...sianz...

my sis is like haiz....she wans the com...watever....gtg... =(

blogged at 6:21 PM

tired..sick..but who cares..

long time no come online le...me feeling tired n sick now....yest went to c the sinseh with xinying..for my shoulder blade first...he say my shoulder bone bleeding... ??? like i will understand like tat..in the end the ting was so pain, i cant be bothered to tell him to look at my knee cap...haiz...

now having a terrible sore throat and cough..flu abit....back pain and everyting...but today they rotate shift..so will be different ppl in charge of us....then tat sylvia is not going work today...even though she is the one who say wan to work OT..cos mayday coming...haiz...then since now we r kinda forming a group with 2 other gers n a guy...hahaz...so we must b united mahz...hahaz...so later will haf 2 help her say tat got 1 ger also in this line de...but she got sth on...haiz...dunno whether can anot...i dun even noe if i can tahan n work for today...well...today got more pay...work today lorz...worse come to worse tmr i dun work...hahaz...mon to fri got lesser pay...

i cant burn the bloody discs out...duno wat the heck happened..

must go pay bill asap le...haiz...must try to cut down on my outgoing calls...haiz...pay is onli coming on the 22...haiz..well...i'm broke...

blogged at 1:15 PM

Friday, November 19, 2004

haiz..

yest ah bao nv come...was having kinda a bad luck streak...stained my shirt...in the end had to use sylvia's sweater...there was tis stupid guy who kept disturbing me...stupid asshole....cut my hand few times yesterday...then tis MH called kelvin was saying boyfren dun wan also dun have to do tis de mahz...hahaz...then i was saying the guy i wan dun wan me leh...then he say i recommend guy to u...then he went to grab guofu....hahaz....make guofu paiseh..say wat single n available...somemore hafnt go NS..diaoz....

well...gtg meet sylvia liaoz....she selling hp...wan me to pei her go penisula plaza....well...tons of housework to do...but haiz....watever...

blogged at 9:33 AM

Thursday, November 18, 2004

=)

hahaz...yesterday was a good day at work...cos ah bao came back le...got the rush rush feeling again...ciong ah!!!!packed V3 yesterday...finally get to touch the metal box le...but then....haiz...very troublesome la...also packed tis new pda fone..quite chio la...not available in market yet...my line was the first to start packing it...fresh from the pellet..hahaz...

when i reached home, on hp..saw one caller alert from him...hahaz...its at 17:10:41....so i sms him ask if he called...his reply : got meh haha

so i say got la...even fwd the calleralert sms to him.... his reply:haha don need :p u too much money ar give me some la haha

i asked him if he still rmb wat he promised me... his reply: hmm...... married u hahaha?

told him tt my mum got married at my age..dun wish to be like her.. his reply: haha issit but i wish to married young leh haha

asked him if he got his letter if he asking for defer his reply:still donnoe leh wait for my letter to come then saw lo haha hmm...u say i promise u some thing wat issit?

i told him to tink hard..he repeated the ting many times de...

then he call le..at 00:05:31 hahaz..we tok for 21:56 min when suddenly the line went flat...then he sms opps hahaha good night

then i was darn happy..cant reali sleep...tis mrg sylvia called...told her abt tis..she went like haiz...again...and tt she regretted working with me....hahaz..cos i'm taking her on a rollercoaster ride with all tis stuff...she said she feel like calling him and ask him to stop all tis up n downs tingy...hahaz...cos its the ppl ard me who get the worst hits..hahaz...she said can sense the song-ness in me ...was exactly like she n arhem...hahaz... and she hope tt tis can last till sch reopen...so tt she will have peace...hahaz... oops...tink i'm overloading her with all my stuff le...hahaz...she say i will confirm go tell xinying de...hahaz...i told her is i hafnt tell xinying...good tings r meant to b shared rite?hahaz... =)

well,summary of the call last nite (sylvia's gona kill me 4 tis) hahaz..

ask if wan go swimming tmr...say i working..how to go..
ask me do wat work told him me now working at motorola lorz...then got alot of papercuts..
v tired...dun feel like work...then we came to the topic of yang each other...he say cos i said so..then he say okie lor..but now he not working..wait till he working..wa laoz...wat type of ans is tis?then i said i dun yang xiao bai lian...he say he tan till v dark...look like malay now...say isit v long nv c him...ask if i went to register 2 b liaoz? me n my injured knee...how to go take...finally he rmb wat he promised me..he said go to his place pass his tings then he help me rub my knee,one stone kill 2 birds..haiz...wat a lazy guy...jialat..hmmm...me dun like to go ppl hse le....feel funny...hahaz..
say got alot of gers looking 4 him...got mei li so .....his hp bill will b high
he said it love at first sight for V3...i say it is lust...no love at first sight de then went look 4 dict 4 defn of lust..lust= strong desire..hahaz...
there was tis cockroach...scared means scared la...wat has it got to do with the roach small n me big... -_- hahaz...was telling him factory guys cmi..well...beta not cont le...hahaz...

well...in the midst of feeling happy...i start to wonder if he talks tis way all the time to other gers 2....well...sylvia was saying even with her ex also is like tis lorz...tis is how guys r...i tot i was e one who knew how guys tink after hanging out so long with them... suddenly i became the idiot...dun understand them anymore...haiz...sylvia was also saying tt he will not b the onli guy in my life...noting is forever...well...i wan at least a good start..a good first BGR..I need a MAN who can protect n take care of me...not a BOY...r u the one? i dunno...well...c how tings go ba...

*feeling =D hope it lasts*

blogged at 1:40 PM

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

results

well...i finally checked wat xinying mentioned in her blog le...i got a bloody low C...din realise tt my grades were tis bad...must reali study le....haiz...still wan to go find job while studying le...haiz....well...nv receive any fone call yet..so i guess i'm still safe huh?hahaz...

blogged at 11:42 AM

Job Crisis

Today (16/11/04 tuesday) they say if get call over next few days telling us we dun have to come for work means.....JOBLESS...well...today already alot of ppl not ard le...haiz....dunno wat to do siaz.....i wana work till sch reopen lehz....if lose tis job i will go find sth tt can let me do when sch reopen also...i wana try 2 release my burden to my family....at least in terms of $$$...

well...tis few days i come back home i just see my sister sitting at the com...in the late mrg when i wake up i will also c her or my brother at the com...wth...haiz....i just feel so sianz...i cant even use the com to check my grades tingy as seen in xinying's blog... by the time i reach home, bathe le will have 2 quarrel with my sis to get the com...by tt time is already 12 plus....NYP server already close for update..its like when i want 2 use also cant...haiz...i wana noe my grade...

my hands n arms all got cuts n bruises..haiz...back pain...leg pain...well...let me c the money on 22 can le...hahaz...but once get money,must give grandma, mummy,shld i give dad?how much to give siaz....hmmmm....also need to put aside $ 4 my 2B license..and also for sth else....which onli my frenz noe...hahaz..sth which one will not b proud of....

sianz...i go slp le la..tired...my life simply sucks....noting is going my way.......

*I miss the times in CPTC*
*I miss the trainers*
*I miss every1 i got to noe there*
*I miss the time when there was shift training with BB ITE*
*I miss him*
*But no one can turn back time.........*

Make ur own destiny,dun wait 4 it 2 come 2 u..life is not a rehearsal.. --> my latest MSN Nick...

blogged at 1:19 AM

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

noting new....

well...long time no blog le...hahaz..well... tis few days other than working myself to death at my workplace, getting cuts everywhere on my hands...

methods of torturing myself at my work place...

1. By being the runner and running everywhere...climbing up pellet to cut the cling wrap...imagine u r the onli one sweating in an AIR CON place...
2. by doing tings at very fast speed...like pasting the stupid seal on the box...i'm the fastest..hahaz...
3. when folding box or related to box tings, will c cuts on my hands....

the worst part, i actually feel beta after abusing myself...duno isit bcoz i feel another type of pain or because i will b able to get my mind of someone/someting....well...i duno wat 2 do...i guess mayb just pass him watever is with me n forget abt everyting...but will I be able to forget?haiz...life sucks...

B:

Your Beauty liesin Plain Sight. Plain, simple and the girl nextdoor. People tend overlook you as you are the
"normal girl", but you're actuallyvery beautiful. And you have plenty about you to
set you apart, but more thatlets you blend. People love the stability you have
because as others may comeand go, you will always be there and you may always
be the same. You like simplethings and that's what people like about you. You
most likely enjoy things mostconsider normal, like movies, shopping, that sort
of thing and are very friendlyand probably have many friends. You are sweet and
kind and that shows on you,but you're also strong and not very naive. You're a
rather well-roundedindividual. Even though some people pass you off as
just another girl, shrug itoff because they don't know what they're
missing.

Some ThingsThat Represent You:

Element:Earth, Light Animal: Cat Color:
Pinks, Blues, Browns Song:Girl Next Door by Pilot Expression: Simple
Smile

Gemstone:Alexandrite Mythological Creature: Fox
Demon, Hobbit Sign:Tauros Planet: Jupiter Hair Color:
Light Brown Eye Color:Brown

Quote:"To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world."

Your like an angel. You pocess love and bring love
to any thing or person. You love being
yourself. Even though your cute or not. I think
your just awesome. Like you are peace:)

You are like the light fairy. She beleives only in
comfort and happiness. She ahs the power to
make people happy and comfortable in the
darkest of times. She loves all beings equally,
but when she is not needed, she can also be
annoying, she follows people, and is too much
of a goody goody, and can drive people
nuts!!!!!!!!

You are Dha-shi-zhi!A female bodhisattva of Chinese Buddhism, whose
name means the Strongest. Through the power of
her love she managed to break the circle of
rebirth for everyone. In the heavenly paradise
the souls appear before her in the shape of
flowers.

blogged at 1:11 AM

Saturday, November 13, 2004

life is so hard...

well, yesterday too tired to come n complain here...so now i will..hahaz...yest was like one of the toughest day...my line got 2 warning letters...my line leader kena sacked...when after so many days of screaming and she was suddenly good to me...(she looked for a plaster when i cut my hand) i was folding boxes like super fast lorz...till my hands ache....back and leg numb..and pain..

then the overall supervisor(Irene) say if tmr which is today, any1 who gets the warning letter will get sacked/terminated immediately....haiz...wan job also so difficult...life is begining to suck more n more...well...dunno how long more i can do tis job la...well...see lorz...

had a very funny dream yest..dreamt tt i was in a train with him..and guess who we saw? kian hwee..hahaz..then kian hwee was asking me who is he...diaoz...why of all ppl him n kian hwee?

darn tired...but later still got work...well...me wan the cash so must work...haiz...let me have the courage to go on ba..

didi just called...say he finished the VCD le..he managed to defer liaoz...till jul next year..hahaz..hope he can get a place in poly...he wans to look for job le...he wan ppl pei him lahz..then can joke n stuff..hahaz...

i wonder how is he doing now.....miss him.... haiz....mayb i shld just wake up and pretend tt evryting is a dream...mayb i need an ans..mayb i dun even noe wat i wan...i'm giving myself till xmas to sort out everyting...have he got his letter?is he deferring?haiz... everyting abt him is a question mark....haiz...sometimes i hope to stab and numb my heart.....why must i make myself suffer.....

blogged at 1:25 PM

Friday, November 12, 2004

another sianz day

well, was to go to xinying's place..but she got driving at 1pm..i got to work..so in the end nv go le..i'm now slacking away at home...arranging the photo album..hahaz...nearly $50 worth of fotos..and its my 2.5 years worth of fotos in NYP and CPTC..hahaz...after i write all the captions and comments le can show liaoz...hahaz...the photo album is for tis 3 years de..in NYP..pursuing tis bloody piece of paper..called a diploma...

well...got to go buy the stuff to cook dinner before i go work...sianz...my life is so routine...
wake up, brush teeth,do housework,bathe,open the door go out,meet at YCK control, go work,finish work, walk home,remove shoe,open door,go bathe,eat,sleep...and the cycle goes on and on.....

sianz..........

blogged at 11:49 AM

Thursday, November 11, 2004

3rd day at work...

Today went to meet xinying in the mrg...got the fotos..and bought e muji pouch le...hahaz..then went for my 3rd day at work...more or less used to the leg tired, back pain n lots of papercuts le...hahaz..actually just bear with it n one day will b over...discovered tat there alot is 17 year old de...feel so old...hahaz...today the MH is a 17 yr old...called guofeng...work 5 mths le...interesting guy...hahaz..me kena cut n bleed mahz...so used the tissue he offered..hahaz..now my hands and fingers all super ugly....haiz..

me, huiyi and the 2 gers we clique there, meixuan n peilin..we were planning like after finish tis job must go for manicure spa n pedicure...huiyi even had it all planned out...huiyi also tot of working during x'mas..cos she say tt time see KK they all first few days like do noting...c how our timetable is like...if really got noting mayb will cont work to earn the public holiday rate....anyway i dun celebrate x'mas de mahz...they say x'mas is for couples...well...haiz...forget abt it lahz...

huiyi calculated tt if we work all the way can get abt 2k..well...hope i can work all the way ba...3-11pm...like wan to meet ppl also difficult...2.15pm i have to b at YCK control...to meet up n go work le...but i need the cash to cover my past few mths of overspending...i overspend by like 500 le..in 2 mths...haiz...

me n huiyi were telling the 2 gers abt him...and some stuff la..haiz..looks like i'm really stupid to pick him huh...i also duno y it has to b him...i hafnt found the reason...its just a feeling so strong tat i cant fight...

was telling xinying today tat i work is to numb myself..then she ask me tt means u work u dun tink of him la...haiz...i do..still tink of him....esp when they call tat guy who has the same name as him...

tmr going over to xinying place to teach her how to put in the contacts...so..me going slp le...nitez bloggie...........

blogged at 11:57 PM

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

stupid me or him?

darn piss now....me return home from work with more papercuts and more tiredness in the leg n back...then cos singtel got the caller alert...even if i off hp, also will send me an sms say wat no called when my hp was off...then i saw tt HE called at 22:59:22....so i sms him back say i now working...cant brong hp dun he called...then tell him to call me back... his reply " don feel like calling back hahahaha".... then my reply " .........watever..i also dun feel like picking up call...hahaz.." his reply " .......... haha good night" my reply " nitez...sweet dreams" then some time later , i still sms him say" when u rmb why call me then sms me ba.."

wat the heck....i nearly had tears dropping down again...i'm just so useless.....why m i so affected by him....

i tink with all my complaints abt HIM...sylvia quite sick le..esp when work with me alwasy kena paper cut n leg, back tired...then still must hear me moan n complain....haiz...must make up to her....

just nice didi send me a fwd...i tink cos i fwd tis nice sms to like most ppl in my hp ba...which includes HIM n didi...then i complain to didi in 1 sms...he c le blur...say tmr then call him to tell him...

hahaz...anyway,i tink i just influenced another person to use blogging as a way to vent anger....hahaz...my other full time consuellor...hahaz...well..i hope tings go well for him...be praying for him...

oh ya...also must thank xinying..who today went to suntec get her trial pair of lenses..she help me go konica at raffles city to get my remaining 184 fotos...hahaz...thanks to my "wife" le...hahaz...duno whether she can handle anot...if cannot will help her de....hahaz...me contacts lense expert horz... =)

well... me must go slp le...tmr is a very busy day...mrg go serangoon to meet xinying to get my fotos...then put it inside the album...then bring go meet tina at her place(clementi)...to show her...be meeting her with mum, cos mum wans to do a pair of glasses....i promise mum say will help her pay...so die die tis motorola job also must do... then go work lorz....tat's my programme for tmr le....haiz...

tis job ah...i do is wana numb myself....tis job ah onli make me feel pain...but the physical pain seems to be noting as compared to the emotional pain and hurt i'm putting myself thru..i tink is i asked for it de lorz...who ask my heart to pick someone like him...haiz...wat shld i do? haiz... wat do i wan...daniel says to ask onli if i'm ready...well...i guess i'm not....its like bringing me back to ask him le then how crossroad...well....guess mayb i'm not someone worthy of love...haiz...

every1 say is i lack confidence n low self esteem...tell me..how do u become confident?how do u have high slef esteem??? haiz....

blogged at 11:57 PM

got job le!!!!!!!!!

well..yesterday i said i wanted to go look for job rite?hahaz...in the end i was to go work immediately..diaoz...sorry to the ppl who were looking 4 me n tot i had gone 2 do sth stupid..i'm okie...dun worry...i'm down..but not out yet...cos i have u guys mahz.... =)

cannot bring hp somemore..its doing packing..3-11pm..motorola subcon..standing job..me n huiyi doing same line...heez..got ppl pei me...yest heard a name..then i immediately turn back..yupz...its 3 letters n starts wit a K..

i saw my sec sch fren (millie) yest..she become more beautiful le.. =)

its quite okie la.. tis job..i guess i could use e cash n also let it consume my time..if not i will b like walking corpse..i wana b strong..but..saying is easier than done rite?

after working yest, me got alot of papercuts on my hands, back pain, leg pain..nearly fell down while walking also...tink i injure my leg even more worse..haiz...

yest didi call to say he went 2 try e hokkien mee le..he said it was good..must make him bring me go..haha..cos i no sense of direction de mahz...hope he b able 2 get e defer he wans ba..b praying 4 him... =)

me got to go market n get the stuff to cook le..then cos yesterday nv go get the fotos..today must go...i wana c all the fotos...hahaz..

blogged at 9:06 AM

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

tired..i really m..

hahaz...i'm back...diaoz..do i sound happy enuff? i sure hope i do...if i dun look happy, at least let me sound happy...i'm supposed to b a walking joke...not a walking crybaby...

well. an update of wat happened..

7/11/04 sunday nitez

went to meet mich to pass her some stuff..then went to meet judy at bugis..we had gelato..chatted abit..while waiting for daniel who was driving his dad car mahz...so we went to changi to eat..told daniel abt the prob..daniel also told me to have more confidence in myself and tat i had the qualities tt a guy will wan 4 a gf..when i told him abt the wat will happen if he said yes..he went like, if u r not ready, dun tell him yet... reached home abt 1 plus am...still no news from him...haiz...i'm just so insignificant to him..i guess...

8/11/04 monday

job search day...went down to PS, irene(weiling) was walking at cafe cartel..when i went in she said u sgss de rite?hahaz...then her tag put irene...i say ya...u weiling rite?hahaz...i still rmb her...she slimmed down alot siaz....was feeling super down, then sylvia suggested eating sakae..so we went lorz...hahaz..eat until darn full..then like order le nv eat..hahaz..like the other time when i was down n out...bad habit..must change tis habit....if i dun allow myself to cry, i'll do the wasting food and other funny funny stuff to vent my sadness....

then wanted to call mich to ask her some stuff.. in the end tis ger picked up the fone...she sounded sweet..i guess she's abt 15? heez...then was asking me if i 'm mich fren n stuff like tat..and if i can collect the bag from her she's at orchard...diaoz...tt blur ger...left her pouch at taka food court..then cos my bill abit ex lahz...so huiyi called mich home...and then...well, it was a happy ending..hahaz...mich got back her stuff....

went to develop the fotos at raffles city...konica digital express..$39.30..one print 4R is 25cents..above 100 prints is 20 cents....cheap rite?hahaz..so i develop 10 out first..to see the quality..not bad la..oh ya..they onli take cash hor...hahaz...when i was at the atm taking money to pay 4 e foto, didi called to ask abt K box charges..mayb got another person to b my kbox kaki le..hahaz..

9/11/04 tuesday (today)

be looking for job and collecting the rest of my fotoz later...if got time i also wana go esplanade..i need to go waterfront...hmm...must make the photo album up asap...i'm gonna show tina when we meet tis holiday...hahaz....i miss her le....must show judy,daniel, owyong,and everyone!!!hahaz...my 6 long months of joy n tears......

blogged at 9:34 AM

Sunday, November 07, 2004

haiz...

well, i guess he forgot abt his promise of meeting me on sunday le..haiz..I am such noting to him...haiz...

just now i checked mail..saw tt..he add me on friendster..well..have approved le lahz..like tat lorz...

erm..have seen my knee le...well...if i injure it again or crack my knee cap..i might become cripple...so have decided to shelve my plans of 2B license aside first..haiz..but i wana go get it lehz....haiz..noting is going my way tis days...

have to go get a new knee guard le..haiz...my legs..haiz..injured left ankle( e whole round ting got dislocated..i still managed to go to burma..my first trip...hahaz..go temples pray..no problem..go shopping..i had to hold onto two ppl..hahaz..then my left n right knee cap..both lso kena alot of times...i tink my legs can chop off le..

i tink with tis new injury..mum n dad will b stopping me from getting 2 B le..haiz..now me walk flat land okie..but staircase is super slow and super pain..haiz...like tis how to go look for job tmr?

*still holding onto hope..sunday is not over yet..pls rmb wat u have said...*

blogged at 1:34 PM

lost and confused..

Friday 5/11/04

stupid blogger was down..I was like gonna explode..haiz..heng someone was ard..well..he came talking to me first..hahaz..well, very nice talking to him..hahaz...well..u noe who u r..rmb our promise..no 3rd person will noe abt our conversation..heez...

well..what happened on friday le? was supposed to go k box with xinying..then go down to raffles city to look 4 huiyi..cos she is working and wan ppl to go pei her lorz..hahaz...in the end the poor girl again pei me run here n there again..so sorry..

first we(me n xinying) went to meet didi..get penny disc from him and her thumbdrive...then cos someone missed call me after knowing the stuff he wan is with me..din have the courage to call him alone..so i waited till i met didi n xinying...hahaz..stupid rite?

basically...the fone call sucks ba..stay different area=no fate?wat abt ppl having long distance relationships?and boy, there is no such ting as since I m so free, go get a bf..still can tell me go hint a guy, mayb he will chase me...after much pestering..he finally said meet on sunday..but i still have got no news lorz..(today is sunday)he's actuali online now..well..like tat lorz..i'm tired..and confused...haiz...

6/11/04 saturday

went to k box for the lunch hour..11-2pm..with xinying..was late again ..as usual..since i had promise, i will fulfill my promise de..heez...then later in the nite a fren of mine called..well, he was offering me another view lahz...
was telling me tat normally when a ger makes the first move, guy will just take n take..he was telling me if the ans is a no, then then like wat i say, move on, if the ans is a yes le?wat m i gonna do?will I be happy with him?or happier with another guy?if tings r obvious and he does not do anyting..then why shld i still hold on?why shld i make myself miserable..in short he was telling me he's not a good choice lahz... why will i wan to jump into a bottomless pit..well...the talk with him, simply made me more confused ba..put it tis way...

tis is 4 e ppl ard me: I noe I have promised tat i will solve the ting by tis week..its like 8 am now...I have 16 hours to solve the prob..but..I reali have got no idea wat to do..I feel lost..guide me pls..blame it on my low esteem,my low confidence,blame it on my guts...

I tot of tis, why shld i b making myself unhappy? have decided tat after i pass him his stuff..just let it be ba..if he is mine, he will be mine(someone told me tis..) i have got no energy to fight le..

Huiyi: I will prove u wrong..I will be able to cool down..even if it takes everyting... =)

Wilmer: thanks for everyting...for all the encouragement n calls...hahaz..i still owe u ur meal..hahaz... =)

didi: hahaz...my full time consuellor..thanks for hearing me complain... =)

someone who is single n available (i place ad for u le..hahaz..) : thanks for listening.. =) it means alot to me...

Judy, owyong,all my sec sch bros : I will be back to the pillar..the strong and happy ger u guys knew..I will be... =)

If i fall, I know u guys will be there...thanks alot..thanks for always being there..u guys made me feel tat i was never alone...

7/11/04 sunday (today)

well, going to red cross le..heez...

blogged at 7:16 AM

Friday, November 05, 2004

i'm sorry...

let's see..i'm still waiting for a reply...guess i'm very stupid huh..well, cant be helped i guess..

teach me how to give up and forget...i'm tired and dun wana be stupid anymore...

later will just be meeting didi...not him..i guess i'm just not brave enuff..i sucks...

dun wish to cry anymore...i dun like the me now...i am just so weak..so weak..so weak i cant even recognise myself..i have become another person...

sorry to every1 who were there with me thru tis few weeks...i'm sorry..i dun have the courage to tell him and either end everyting or to have a new start..

i'm really sorry...i'm just useless....

later have to go look for sylvia..she's working at goldlion now..be at raffles city..robinson's level 3..hahaz..guess i'll be hanging at esplanade waterfront there....i hope it rains..and see if the rain can wash the pain and sorrow in me...and hide my tears....

blogged at 11:27 AM

Thursday, November 04, 2004

haiz...how stupid can i get?

well...its official...teary=stupid girl

was smsing him if can meet up to pass stuff..then he ask if i was at home..then say chat online..then in the end i waited n waited..well....tat is how stupid i m lahz....one sms from him..tat was all it took on his part...din tok much too..well..everyting is a mistake..

well, i'm just tired of evryting..every1 is telling me to go tell him and see wat happens...but..no one tell me how to tell him...

advice from a brother..copied off our chat in msn..hahaz...

"Well, for me, i would prefer the face to face "confrontation" method.... cause this way, you would get to see his reaction and how he really feels bout you on the day itself.... that's what i've always done..... juz be honest with him.... tell him your feelings for him.... but be very very tactful.... don turn him off by sounding desperate.... you can tell him to listen to you for 5 mins and tell him not to say anything but to juz listen to what u have to say.... then u juz be honest with him..... after telling him everything, then allow him to speak his mind..... give him time to speak, and this time, its your turn to listen to him... don interrupt him.... at this point, you've got to be prepared anything.... well, this is what i would do and what i have always done.... its really up to you..."

guess right from the start, everyting is a mistake...who will wan a ger like me???

*beta off alone*

blogged at 11:45 PM

free at last!!!

hahaz....i'm jobless again...well...i din noe i was famous at maxtor le...today sudenly alot of ppl come to me n say y u still stay when u r gonna do mover 4 all 3 days...then they say is darn tiring lahz...if i get to noe them earlier, they will tell me not to work le...well, I told them i'm a sch dropout...cos there alot is m'sians..so they will like u singaporean easy to find work..they also encouraged me to go back to sch...well...felt so bad lying...well... now dun need to lie le....heez...

still tinking over wat huiyi has been telling me tis days...to go confess to him...but the ting is i duno how to go abt doing it...nv done it b4...and i dun even noe him well yet...she gave tis idea of having everyone hiding somewhere ard...and i go meet him alone(meeting him aone is didi's idea) then i go confess...if its a failure, i can go to them and cry...they will b there for me...if its a success...then...wish me happiness lorz...well...if he were to contact me then say ba...apparently he's not even interested...haiz.... i'm being stupid lahz... i agree with huiyi lahz... short term pain is beta then long term...well... I duno lahz...

blogged at 8:36 AM

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Jobless again..haiz...

1 nov 2004 monday nitez

he replied to the fwd le..at 7 pm..hahaz..felt happy lahz...hahaz..tok abit of crap...

with all the calls n sms i'm making tis days...i dun wana see my bill...haiz...

well, was decided tat wed nite will b my last nite..cos need to give 3 days notice..the supervisor ask me to cont work lahz..well...i also duno lehz..hafnt got other job yet worz...haiz...but i guess its beta then having my mum n dad screaming down at me...

2 nov 2004 tuesday

then was to meet didi cos xy lending him her thumbdrive..then i getting back someting to pass to someone myself...hahaz..before meeting xy,i finish work, went home bathe and went to school for a dip with xinying le...the water was darn cold lahz...then meet him at amk mrt..was so tired...i hugged the bag judy bought for me n i slept in the mrt..2nd time i sleep i mrt...1st time was waiting for mich at jurong east when we were to go for the swim...hahaz...tat bag not bad as a pillow...we went to chat in amk mac lorz...quite okie lahz....then he went to meet his fren...I was so tired, i went to take 269...and i missed my stop... in the end take until back to amk bus terminal...then later take again...269...tis time i din sleep...then was kinda feeling confused...then went to buy chocolate cake...diaoz...haiz....is like stress lehz....

then was talking to huiyi..well, i dunno lahz...she was telling me be brave...end the pain fast..well,I dunno how to siaz...hahaz..well....i'm not brave enuff...i'm afraid...hmmm..didi also agree with her...well.. he said dun give up easily..if not let myself down...hahaz...i now kinda confused...i guess will let tings be ba...wat ayam say also quite true...mayb he is just being nice..instead of avoiding...guess...guess..guess..

3 nov 2004 wednesay

came back from work..sleep like...pig...panda..hahaz..was supposed to go find job with huiyi n xy..in the end me too tired..so just sleep...hahaz...somemore my right knee cap kena again...in the end 9 missed calls..including one from didi..who needed info abt flare...but he called cptc le..and got the trainer to help..so okie lorz...then we crapped abit..tokking to him is fun lahz..hahaz..guess if we go k box will b fun cos we r into the same type of songs...

just now was watching the jacky wu show...they looking for perfect lover(girl) then they say top is libra!!!cos is very shui he..(i guess the meaning is like anyting also can ba)...well, guess i'm not a complete libra..got scorpion blood in me le...haiz..then when libra fall in love, they will be completely overcomed by it....well..hahaz...

sms him to tell him his disc with me in the mrg..hafnt got an ans..mayb i shld like pass it to someone again to pass it to him and forget all abt it..haiz...i need someone to make the decision for me..cos i have got no clue on wat to do....haiz...

oh ya...it has been decided tat will be meeting Mrs Fong on 19 Nov...hahaz..i miss ppl like kangwei, zongwei, OMR,hanwen,siong kiat, ATT,huiping,julia and the list goes on and on... has been a very very very nice time when i was in XMS..

later will b my last day le..well... i survived nearly 1 week...haiz... duno wan to work wat le...i wan to go get my 2B..but...no cash lahz...when i had the cash, i had no time...wth....noting seems to be going smoothly for me....well...watever...

blogged at 6:03 PM

Monday, November 01, 2004

to someone...

I guess u will never get to see tis...but...I tink I'll still leave it here..If it is fated that u will see tis, then u will..if not, then just liddat lorz...i guess tis blog entry will just be sth for me to reveal my feelings...

When was our first encounter? when i was doing the car seal list i gues....Tat was the first time i actually know tat u existed...hahaz..Din feel tat much at tat time though...When did it all started? I also dunno siaz...Why is it u? I also dunno siaz...My heart just tells me its u...

Your every action has a very big influence on me...I know u r a nice guy...Mayb u r already attached or have another girl in ur mind...I guess tat girl will never be me..When I stand next to u, I feel tat ur heart has been given away...But to who?I dun like this feeling..it puts me very down...

I duno wat I want but I hope tat u can be happy and smile always... =)

Falling for u made me see myself in a different light...I din noe I can be so couragous...to have courage..to overcome my pain and fear...You let me noe tat I still have a soft side to myself...

Mayb I'm just passerby A to u, but u will never by just a passerby to me...Mayb u just treat me as a fren or sister, who knows? I know I dun stand a chance..I don't even qualify for one i guess...I guess I have been pretty obvious with my feelings le...The rest is all in your hands le...If u nv do or say anyting, mayb it is really not meant to be..I will wish you all the best and hope we still can be frenz......forever.....

blogged at 6:25 PM

teary is a big spender...

well, just came home...hahaz...just updating wat happened yesterday...

31 oct 2004 sunday

went to K box with mich...had quite a nice time there...well, i am now a member of k box...so ppl...need the card get from me k...hahaz...then went over to her place and tokked lorz...reached home late...got screamed by my mum..well, i guess noting i do tis days is up to her standard...well, I also dunno wat to do le...my life stinks and sucks now...

1 nov 2004 monday...

today ah...in the mrg wake up then went down to the temple at sommerset mrt there...was feeling worried... cos my mum just told me some not very good news tis mrg...well... guess I will not working for maxtor le...later i will go tell the supervisor....reali cant tahan...well, beta than me after work not coming home to sleep... 3 days sleep 5 hours...boy! am i surprised....been calling tons of places...well, I need a job...be able to start tis friday....

went to get the contact lenses le...I went to the suntec tat Yes eye specialist...their equipment is good lahz...hahaz... then the guy who was supposed to make the ting for me...well, at first when he saw me in glasses, like dun reali wana hiew me like tat....kaoz... then alter when i wear contcts he like more friendly le....haiz...i wear glasses and contacts reali got very big difference ah...

bought tis photo album too...me n my "wife" (xinying) we both bought 1 each...heez... i plan to make it my all 3 years in NYP n CPTC de photo album...hahaz...

later will have to go to maxtor n say i not working le...well, I need all the courage i can muster....haiz...cos i pon work on saturday...haiz...

well, wish me good luck ba...

blogged at 6:06 PM